The Dolphins' thoughts on whom to draft No. 1 overall might have been inadvertently revealed when general manager Jeff Ireland said the pick would be expected to be ``a pillar of your defense.''
That led draftniks to surmise the Dolphins were not leaning toward offensive tackle Jake Long, with whom they've been negotiating, but rather to defensive ends Chris Long or Vernon Gholston.
Ireland called it a ''Freudian slip,'' although the comment might simply have been Irelandish.
''Why is my name associated with parapraxis?'' a miffed Sigmund Freud asked when reached by Random Evidence. ``This Mr. Ireland's remark obviously is not about football at all, but rather a transference of sexual desire from the unconscious mind.''
Ireland continued to make ''Freudian slips'' throughout the press conference in attempts to persuade other teams to trade up. The ruse became pretty apparent when the GM said, ``You want your top pick to be somebody named Matt Ryan -- OOPS!''
• Chad Johnson, from Miami, wants out of Cincinnati. The Dolphins could use a game-breaking receiver. But there are no indications the team might try to acquire Johnson because that would make too much sense.
• NFL schedules came out and the Dolphins seem to have 11 very winnable games, encouraging the notion of a major turnaround. If Miami's schedule were any softer, it would be brought to you by Charmin.
• NBA playoffs are underway. As for who will win The Finals? Prediction: The Celtics and Lakers will be partying like it's 1986-87.
• The Heat season ended. And the multitudes wept with relief. Now the Heat awaits Pat Riley's big decision on whether to return as coach. Cannot confirm Riley received an encouraging note that read, ''Don't let them hurry you,'' from Godot. [Note: The preceding was a literary reference to the famous Samuel Beckett play, Waiting for Godot. I didn't say it was a funny literary reference!]
• Marlins players served food Friday at Camillus House of Miami, a homeless shelter. Given the team's baseball-low payroll, there might or might not have been doggie bags involved.
• Coach-turned-TV analyst Jeff Van Gundy blasted the Heat's seeming lack of effort and hinted Riley's team may have ''manipulated their chances in the lottery.'' Tanked it, in other words. Of course, just because Riley is perceived to have forced out Stan Van Gundy, there is no reason whatsoever to think his brother would be anything but a pillar of absolute impartiality!
• Jacques Martin, removed as Panthers coach, has decided to stay on as general manager. Panthers fans still trying to decide if that's a good thing.
• I had the weirdest dream last night. Tiger Woods, Jeremy Irons and Minnie Driver were sitting around a table discussing putters.
• Tiger is out four to six weeks following minor knee surgery. His fellow PGA Tour players released a joint statement that read: ``Weeeeeeeee!!!!''
• Instead of a classic Tiger charge, drama at The Masters last week entailed a guy named Immelman staving off a guy named Snedeker. Not good when the green jacket needs a ''Hello My Name Is'' sticker.
• The Knicks finally fired Isiah Thomas as coach. If Yankee Stadium is The House that Ruth Built, then Madison Square Garden is The House That Isiah Wrecked.
• Oft-criticized NFL Network play-by-play man Bryant Gumbel has left the network. That reminds me: Belated congrats to Greg Gumbel for once again being named Least Annoying Gumbel Brother.
• The trainer called ''Max,'' who supposedly introduced Alex Rodriguez to steroids, as implied in Jose Canseco's new book, turns out to be Miami-based Joseph Dion -- who denies everything in the book and thoroughly acquits A-Rod. The book is called Vindicated. Um, might need a new title.
• Bulletin: Pacman Jones' meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to request reinstatement from his suspension has been rescheduled to accommodate Jones' latest court appearance.
• Herschel Walker admits in a new book that he suffers from multiple personality disorder, but has denied the claim in subsequent interviews.
• Major League Baseball this week celebrated the 61st anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the sport's color line by having about the same number of black players as it did in 1947.
• NBA owners approved the Sonics' move to Oklahoma City next season. People in Seattle are so upset they're ordering double shots in their soy mocha lattes.
• The United States beat France in tennis' Davis Cup, and celebrated with a double order of Freedom fries.
• Potential Heat No. 1 picks Michael Beasley and Derrick Rose declared for the NBA Draft the same week Jack McClinton chose to return to the Canes. Call it a good week for basketball in Miami.
• The United States won the women's hockey world championship, a huge event but for the fact it was women's hockey.
• Dan Marino will be commencement speaker next Sunday at his alma mater, Pittsburgh. Pitt chancellor Mark Nordenberg described Marino as ''a champion both in sport and in life.'' OK, Mark. We'll give you the ''life'' part.
• Dale Earnhardt Jr. has opened a new bar, Whisky River, in Charlotte, N.C. Cannot confirm the bar aims to be a place where ``people can come in, relax and feel like they haven't won a race in 70 consecutive starts.''
• Pierre Jean Martin, who claimed to have completed the London Marathon last week at age 101, actually was only 94. Simple explanation: He was 94 when he started the marathon, 101 when he finished.
• The car was going fast so I can't be sure, but I think I just saw a bumper sticker that read, ``Honk if you've been beaten up by Club Mansion bouncers.''
• The Yankees spent $50,000 to remove a David Ortiz jersey that had been hidden in a concrete beam of the new Yankee Stadium by a Bronx construction worker who is a Red Sox fan. Now buried under the concrete instead: the construction worker.
• Parting thought: Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada admitted he was 33, not 31 as he previously claimed. Some might recall suspicions about Tejada falsifying his age first arose after he hit the winning home run in the 2003 Little League World Series.
Catch Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com.
