What South Florida sports fans are talking about:
1.NCAA Tournament title game: The season began with 325 Division 1 men's basketball teams. Now only two survive to play Monday night. A fitting end to Mar -- no, April Madness!2.Tennis finals in Key Biscayne: Serena Williams and Andy Roddick entered the weekend hoping to make the Sony Ericsson the rarest of tournaments, with a nearly unheard-of result: two American winners. But it was not to be.3.Marlins losing early arms race: Fan Roland Flores, 23, was sentenced to 30 days in jail for throwing a water bottle that struck Mike Piazza on the head. Impressed by his accuracy, the Marlins have offered Flores a spot in the starting rotation.4.Panthers end in disappointment: The season that closed Saturday marked the Cats' seventh in a row out of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Florida's version of the playoffs: Seeing how long coach/general manager Jacques Martin will last before being eliminated.5.Riley poised for Hall induction: Heat coach Pat Riley, expected to learn Monday he has been inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, said, ''I don't belong there.'' Riles might be right. But only if the voting were based on this season.-- GREG COTE
North Carolina-Kansas and Memphis-UCLA made for a heavyweight Final Four on Saturday night in San Antonio -- one guaranteed to produce a great Monday night championship no matter the semifinal winners.
CBS hoped the first Final Four featuring all No. 1 seeds was the remedy for lower TV ratings compared with last year's NCAA Tournament.
The decreased ratings were unfortunately reflected in some questionable gimmickry by the network, such as having announcers Jim Nantz and Billy Packer work Saturday's games wearing only matching 10-gallon hats and thongs.
Monday's title game should hardly need such rating stunts. Although I must admit, I am looking forward to the halftime break-dancing demonstration by 97-year-old John Wooden.
• In other college hoops, Ohio State won the NIT title, after which its players did a good job faking like they were thrilled.
• Has anybody heard when the women's NCAA Tournament starts?
• Serena Williams won the women's championship in Key Biscayne and was a clear crowd favorite throughout the tournament, despite claims by blowhard father Richard Williams that people in tennis are prejudiced and that his daughters have never been accepted, and never will be.
• Andy Roddick, newly engaged to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, beat Roger Federer to end an 11-match losing streak to his nemesis. Gee, some guys will do anything to impress a babe.
• Note to Rafael Nadal: The constant fist-pumping is getting old, Mr. Capri Pants. For variety, how 'bout you slip up once in a while and give yourself an uppercut to the chin. (That would still be less painful than Mikhail Youzhny beating his head with a racket until it bled.)
• Tennis' Jelena Jankovic wore a dress made of cellphone parts to the players' party. People didn't like it. It got poor reception.
• The Marlins' $17 million payroll for the 25-man active roster is the lowest in baseball by more than double. Put it this way. When ''Mr. Marlin'' Jeff Conine signed that one-day contract to retire as a Marlin, he briefly became the team's highest-paid player.
• The miserly payrolls plus revenue sharing are why the Marlins were baseball's most profitable team in 2007, according to Forbes. Team president David Samson denied that was true, accidentally impaling an interviewer with his rapidly elongating nose.
• The Marlins had one of the sport's worst team ERAs after the first few games. The good news? Florida leads all of baseball in fat-guy cheerleaders.
• Please, please don't let me hear or read that the Panthers had a winning record. They were 37-34, but had nine overtime losses entering the last two games. Modern math: 37 victories in 80 games equals below .500.
• Dwyane Wade and other inactive Heat players manned telephones to elicit season-ticket sales during Wednesday's home loss to New Orleans. Is that what they mean by the Heat phoning it in this season?
• Miami is the worst team in the NBA, yes. But at least the Heat Dancers won a league-wide web vote for best dance troupe. Cannot confirm that a desperate Pat Riley, with Shawn Marion now out and short on healthy players, will start dancers Heather and Bambi in the backcourt against Detroit on Sunday.
• NFL spring meetings concluded in Palm Beach. Think ticket prices are too high? Ask yourself why a league travels to convene for a week at a swank hotel to conduct business it could do by conference call.
• New Dolphins coach Tony Sparano said during the meetings, of the 1-15 team he inherited, ''We have a lot of needs.'' And beleaguered Dolfans replied in unison, ``No Duh!''
• Also, apparently Bill Parcells is giving no hint what he might do with the No. 1 draft pick. As opposed to all the other teams that have already decided and are telling everybody in advance.
• Update from Dancing With The Stars rehearsals: Acting on instinct, Jason Taylor just sacked partner Edyta Sliwinska when he mistook her wink for an attempted pass.
• I just looked up ''idiot'' in the dictionary and saw a picture of receiver Chris Henry, cut by the Bengals after a fifth arrest since 2005.
• Retired quarterback Brett Favre's agent denies a report Favre might change his mind and play again. Favre had no comment, overcome by emotion and weeping too uncontrollably to get any words out.
• David Skinns won the Hooters Tour stop at Inverrary. It is the first time I have ever seen a man sink a winning putt while wearing a tight tank top and orange satin short-shorts.
• David Beckham got his first goal for the Los Angeles Galaxy as Major League Soccer opened its 13th season. Quick: Name another player in the league. I dare you!
• In auto racing news, neither Danica Patrick nor Helio Castroneves won the Indy 300 at Homestead last weekend. Some other driver won, but I can't remember his name.
• Big Brown won the Florida Derby at Gulfstream. Here is hoping the race was more exciting than the winning horse's name.
• Six Miami Columbus High baseball players have been disciplined for a hazing incident, and now face a likely one-year suspension from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.
• An effort is under way to get Wilt Chamberlain's likeness on a U.S. postage stamp. The Wilt stamp would be unique in that it would be exceptionally large and would try to sleep with all the female stamps.
• Dallas is trying to trade for suspended, oft-arrested Tennessee cornerback Pacman Jones, leading some analysts to surmise that Cowboys team officials might be drunk.
• Parting thought: Max Mosley, president of the governing body of world auto racing, is alleged to have engaged in sex acts with five prostitutes in a scenario that involved Nazi role-playing. Needless to say, the incident has caused quite a Fuhrer.
Catch Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com.
