The Dolphins are honoring their 1982 and '84 AFC championship teams during Sunday's game. Hmm. Unless I'm mistaken, isn't that a nice way of saying they are honoring the teams that failed -- God love 'em -- to bring home Super Bowl rings and ultimately blanketed abject disappointment across South Florida?

When did it become en vogue to throw confetti at a consolation prize?

Who's the commercial sponsor of this celebration, Avis?

I'm imagining the crowd reaction:

``We're No. 2! We're No. 2!''

Let's make a pact, OK? From now on, local teams, if you win a championship, you get the full-fledged public celebration -- then and years later.

If you finish second, well, you get a commiserating clap on the back and eventual forgiveness. Fair?

• Random Evidence is thrilled to be back after being off last week. I took advantage of my bye week, mostly practicing stuff that needed work, such as adjectives and puns. Also, it was a good chance to relax and rest my strained similes.

• New England-Tampa Bay on Sunday marks the third consecutive year for an NFL regular-season game in London. We are trying to expose Brits to the best that American football has to offer. And, yet, sent the Bucs anyway!

• Quick update: Patriots up 28-0 in London on four Tom Brady touchdown passes, and the game hasn't even started.

• The Heat made no big offseason additions, went 2-5 in the preseason and is predicted for eighth in the Eastern Conference -- the far-edge of playoff contention -- by Sports Illustrated and ESPN The Mag. Man, the buzz and anticipation for this season are just palpable!

• The NBA should be glad to have its real referees back. Thank goodness. Replacement refs have been awful. To put that in perspective, they almost have been as bad as umpires in this baseball postseason.

• Did you see the Yankees-Angeles game? Amazing. I still can't believe L.A. walked Alex Rodriguez to get to Kate Hudson.

• Oprah Winfrey hosted a reunion between Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, but there was no biting, so ratings were low. I'm thinking Oprah might do a little better bringing Isiah Thomas and Magic Johnson together. Better chance of a fight.

• Who would you least rather be today: The idiot father who concocted that whole ``Balloon Boy'' hoax? Or ESPN's Steve Phillips? C'mon, Steve! You leave as Mets GM in disgrace over an affair, and now you humiliate your wife and kids over another affair? I say ESPN should let him back on the air only under his revised new public name: Steve Philanderer.

• This is one of many sex-related scandals to haunt The Worldwide Leader. Who knew that ESPN stood for Extra Sexy Philandering Network?

• College basketball practices are under way. In South Florida, that means we will start paying attention just after football ends.

• The Heat signed point guard Carlos Arroyo in an apparent attempt to make Mario Chalmers seem better by comparison.

• American Idol season eight winner Kris Allen will perform before Sunday's Dolphins game. Allen's victory is credited to Adam Lambert being really, really weird.

• Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie might be next to join the Dolphins' growing list of celebrity part owners. Star-struck owner Stephen Ross is said to be impressed by Fergie's knowledge of football, by her financial portfolio and by her lumps, her lumps, her lovely lady lumps.

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