We’re spoiled in South Florida this bowl season

12/30/2012 12:01 AM

12/30/2012 12:24 AM

We are just past halftime of college football’s “bowl season” — 19 games into a 35-game parade — and I can tell you we here in South Florida are most definitely spoiled.

We get to host the Jan. 7 BCS National Championship Game, with No. 1 Notre Dame and No. 2 Alabama bringing a combined 24-1 record. The prospect of an epic game is so great, we’ll even forgive the fact both teams are hated in Miami — the Tide because of Nick Saban’s lying Dolphins exit, the Irish because of old Canes-related animus.

And before that we get Tuesday’s appetizer: Florida State vs. Northern Illinois, and their combined 23-3 record, in the Orange Bowl Classic. The matchup figures as so entertaining, we’ll even look past the fact FSU was dreaming national title and is only faking being thrilled with this game, and the fact Northern Illinois is to college football tradition what Spam is to fine cuisine.

(Special mention to Northern Illinois quarterback Jordan Lynch, who caught FSU’s attention by saying this week, “They haven’t seen anything like our offense.” And, “In the fourth quarter, we plan to have them on their knees.” Isn’t he cute!?)

I say we are spoiled to have these two bowls because, well, nobody stinks.

So many bowls, and bowl teams, stink. Seriously.

This season’s bloated roster of 70 bowl-ing schools includes 15 teams with five losses, 14 with six losses and two — Georgia Tech and Duke — with seven. (New rule: If Duke is in a bowl, there is one too many bowl games.)

The math therefore says that 31 of 70 bowl teams, almost half, had seasons that would get the coach’s house egged in any self-respecting college town.

Sixteen bowls still to be played include Georgia Tech and Southern Cal, a combined 11-12, in the Hyundai Disappointment Bowl; and Pitt vs. Ole Miss, a pair of 6-6s, in the BBVA Mediocrity Bowl.

A .500 team being lavished with a bowl game reminds me of one of those everybody-wins school races where even the kid who gets lapped in a 100-yard dash wins a 12th-place ribbon.

So welcome, Notre Dame-Alabama, and even you, FSU-Northern Illinois.

Thank you for being really good teams that actually deserve a bowl game.

• The Internet was abuzz with the Dolphins’ supposed redesigned logo, which shows a sleeker, stylized dolphin without eyes or a helmet. Moral of story: No matter how hard you try or what you do, you simply can not make a leaping dolphin look menacing.
•  Cameron Wake was the only Dolphin selected to the Pro Bowl. That’s the game players are thrilled to be chosen for, but then schedule hangnail surgery and bad hair days to avoid actually playing in.
•  Reggie Bush and Richie Incognito shared the Dolphins’ Good Guy award for dealing with the media. Both were cooperative, although Incognito would only agree to be interviewed if he could punch you first.
• NBA suspended Heat’s Dwyane Wade one game without pay — or $154,764 — for kicking Charlotte’s Ramon Sessions in the groin is a tough financial hit, especially around the holidays. Thinking of taking up a collection for poor Dwyane. Telethon, maybe?
• The Orange Bowl Basketball Classic was Saturday at the Sunrise arena. The four-team men’s event featured Florida and Florida State. Because including Miami, that would have made too much sense.
• UM men’s basketball team finished 1-2 in Hawaii over the holidays, now prepare to open Atlantic Coast Conference play in six days at Georgia Tech. Is that talk of Sweet 16 potential make-believe? Time for Canes to make believers.
• The NHL lockout reached Day 106 with both sides apparently prepared to drive over the cliff together. They’ll all be driving those little clown cars like the Shriners ride in circles in parades.
• Several teams, including the Texas Rangers, reportedly are making offers for slugger Giancarlo Stanton. Luckily we all know Marlins management and of course trust it would never, ever disappoint fans by trading away a popular, talented player like that just to save money!

Reading the Bible recently, I noticed for the first time that, in Matthew 5:5 about the meek inheriting the Earth, they were referring to the Los Angeles Clippers.

• Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron is dating the reigning Miss Alabama an Auburn graduate. Oh, the humanity!
• Two players for the Texas Longhorns were suspended from the Alamo Bowl. I wonder if that was without pay?
• HORSE WARS! Gulfstream plans year-round racing starting in 2014, infringing on Calder’s exclusive dates. I personally don’t care. I just wanted an excuse to shout HORSE WARS!
• The Junior Orange Bowl Championships ended in tennis. The most extraordinary performance that really stood out was by that one parent who did not berate his losing child.

Parting thought: Went to my market and saw they were selling mushy old bananas nobody would want. That reminds me, I hear the Jets are willing to trade quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow.

Visit Greg’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote.

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