Certain things we come to expect in local sports. They are not surprises. We brace ourselves. We expect and accept them. Dolphins out of the playoffs. Marlins leading the league in cheapness and outrage. Panthers idled by an NHL lockout. A Hurricanes bowl ban. Not surprising.
The Heat is supposed to be our antidote — not surprising, but in the opposite direction. Uninterrupted excellence to offset the disappointment elsewhere.
This isn’t supposed to happen: The Heat surprising us with fallibility. With nights that make you wonder if the guys secretly agreed that winning another championship would be unbecoming, indicative of greed.
A loss to a Wizards team that was 1-13? Seriously? No defending champion ever has lost to a team with that bad a record. Then a 20-point home loss to the Knicks? Really? Miami in its Big 3 era has never been so humbled (read: embarrassed) on its own floor.
I swear. If you tell me the Heat lost Saturday night to 5-12 New Orleans, that might just send me over the cliff like Thelma and Louise. I mean, the Hornets are not only bad, they’re changing their nickname to Pelicans. What, Dodo Birds was taken? When you lose to a team called the Pelicans, it’s time to quit.
So enough with this mortality, Heat. No more surprises of the negative sort.
Don’t make me unretire that rumor about Pat Riley getting the coaching itch and Erik Spoelstra wanting to spend more time with his family. You push me and I will!Gary Bettman Jim Harbaugh Saved By the Bell