The drama of Saturday night’s Heat-Celtics Game 7 here played out after the deadline for this column, so all we could do is imagine the polar-opposite feeling that would be sweeping across South Florida right now depending on the result.
An expected win sending Miami back to the NBA Finals would find all right with the world, coach Erik Spoelstra hoisted onto the city’s shoulders for a victory ride to replace those “Spo must go!” chants. Pat Riley’s genius card would be renewed, his Big 3 brainchild given new life. LeBron James would be swept in as Miami mayor by raucous acclaim.
The “Good Job, Good Effort!” kid, superfan and media sensation Jack Meyer, 9, of Coral Gables, would be spasmodic with delight, perhaps even drafted to duet with the team’s lucky-charm little girl singer on the national anthem at Finals home games.
Yes, even the barest one-point victory Saturday was all that was required for South Florida to ebulliently await Oklahoma City as Heat fans set forth with racing hearts and no greater care than to create ways to mock the frightening, Biblical beard of the Thunder’s James Harden.
But any loss, even a valiant one-point defeat meaning premature elimination, is all it would have taken for a pall to cast across this region like an eclipse, the gloom undercut by roiling anger.
A Miami loss, by consensus if not logic, would have called into question and doubt the whole package: Riley’s vision, Spoelstra’s job, the very future of the Big 3 nucleus. Everything.
Heck, I think even the “Good Job, Good Effort!” kid might have been sent spiraling into an expletive-laden rant, his catch-phrase repeated but now with dripping, venomous sarcasm.
I can only prefer that Miami won last night, partly because I like to see my city happy, but mostly because I hate to hear a 9-year-old boy curse.• Random Evidence is happy to be back after spending several days last week on vacation in Las Vegas. You know how Charlie Sheen was known for saying “Winning”? I wasn’t.
• The French Open ends Sunday with Novak Djokovic playing Rafael Nadal for the fourth consecutive time in a major men’s final. (Yawn.) You’ve heard of Groundhog Day? In men’s tennis, call it Groundstrokes Day.
• The London Olympics are only 47 days away as anxious athletes all over the world enter the final stages of preparing to mask their urine samples.
• Earlier in the NBA playoffs, WPLG anchor Sasha Andrade
• Knicks guard Jeremy Lin won trademark rights to the word “Linsanity.” Anybody have the heart to tell Jeremy his 15 minutes are already up?
• Oklahoma State left-hander Andrew Healey was the Marlins’ first-round pick in the baseball draft. Compared to the national mania that is the NFL Draft, the MLB Amateur Draft is like a top secret being reported by WikiLeaks.
• The top South Florida pick was Hialeah prep outfielder Albert Almora. He was drafted sixth overall by the Cubs, thereby ruining the poor kid’s dream of a World Series ring.
• UM hosted an NCAA baseball regional but was quickly out in two consecutive losses by a combined 22-4 score — the Canes’ worst finish in coach Jim Morris’ 19 seasons. “I know [fans] are calling for my head,” Morris said. It isn’t true. They’d like the whole body gone.
• With the All-Star Game one month away, Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton (despite 13 homers) isn’t even in the top 15 in early fan voting for National League outfielders. Explained manager Ozzie Guillen: “You’re famous in baseball when you do stupid things.” Who’d know better, right Fidel?
• In other baseball news, aided by an umpire’s blown call, Johan Santana pitched the first no-hitter in the 51-year history of the New York Madoffs.
• Dolphins cheerleaders recorded a video lip-synching a popular song called Call Me Maybe. I can’t swear they are good at lip-synching. They are all dancing in bikinis so my eyes never made it up that far.
• Euro 2012, soccer’s quadrennial European Championship, is under way. It’s where the spectacular plays on the field are outnumbered only by the racist chants in the stands.
• UFC played the Sunrise arena Friday, its first time back in SoFla in six years. The highlight for me: A fighter nicknamed “Uncle Creepy.”
• Super Bowl champ Giants visited President Obama Mitt Romney
• Terrell Owens, 38, fired agent Drew Rosenhaus after being cut by the indoor league Allen (Texas) Wranglers. It is becoming apparent that, in college, T.O. did not major in How To Bow Out Gracefully.
• Manny Pacquiao fought somebody in Las Vegas on Saturday night, the latest reminder that until he fights Floyd Mayweather Jr., nobody really cares.
• Parting thought: Justin Combs, 18, son of hip-hop mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs, was awarded a football scholarship to UCLA after his father purchased the university.
Visit Greg Cote’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com, and follow on Twitter @gregcote