Dave Barry: Election '08

Dave Barry

Dave Barry is running for President of the United States -- but because he is a trained journalism professional, he is also sporadically covering the other, lesser candidates. On Jan. 8, 29 and on future dates that he can't disclose just yet, he'll be chatting live from 1-2 p.m. here. That's right, he'll actually be sitting behind a computer at the very same time as you, the reader, send him questions and comments. Please keep in mind that while Dave will answer as many questions as he can, he will laugh at most of them and delete them. That said, Dave may actually answer a question, and it could be yours.

Chat live with Dave Barry!

Most Recently Answered Questions

Questions 1 - 15 of 144 (Page 1 of 8)

Submitted by queensbee from albany ny

Q: the dems have been dancing a lot but mostly wearing interesting hats. what's the weirdest one you've seen?

Answered 08/28/08 14:00:02 by Dave Barry

A: To be honest, I'm disappointed in the hats. It used to be that MANY delegates got totally dorked up for the conventions, but now hardly anybody does. I worry about where this country is headed. That's why I want to be president: so I can leave whenever I want. I appreciate your support in the form of money.

Anyway, thanks to all of you -- I am estimating there are about six -- for joining this chat. Now get back to work. Yes, judi, I am talking to you.

Submitted by Jay from Alpharetta, Ga

Q: Every candidate seems to have a 'bold initiative' what's yours? (Dennis Kucinich wanted to square the walls of the Oval Office)

Answered 08/28/08 13:57:33 by Dave Barry

A: Dennis needs to take another look at those dosages.

Submitted by Soulchef from cable repair Hell

Q: What position will Judi hold in your cabinet?

Answered 08/28/08 13:54:05 by Dave Barry

A: Secretary of Naked Men

Submitted by Telecomdropout from La Crescenta, CA

Q: I notice that in your coverage of the DNC, you have not gotten out of the very small area around the convention center - are you planning on doing a pub crawl any time before you leave ?

Answered 08/28/08 13:53:36 by Dave Barry

A: That is so not true. I got all the way to the bird-porn protest, which was like TEN BLOCKS from the convention center.

Submitted by Peg Leg Pete from Endicott, NY

Q: Presidents make very profound statements while in office. Washington said "Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder." Jefferson said "One man with courage is a majority." What profound statement will you make?

Answered 08/28/08 13:52:34 by Dave Barry

A: "As a majority, I agree totally with the highest bidder."

Submitted by rightie from left coast

Q: After your recent trip to China, and now to Denver, will you have enough energy left to attend the Rep. convention in Minneapolis?

Answered 08/28/08 13:50:40 by Dave Barry

A: Will there be pedicabs?

Submitted by judi from miami fl

Q: is john mayer really there? and can you tell him i love him even though, or because, he has apparently zero standards?

Answered 08/28/08 13:49:48 by Dave Barry

A: Slut.

Submitted by Jay from Alpharetta, GA

Q: Who's the most unusual person you've spotted so far in Denver?

Answered 08/28/08 13:48:58 by Dave Barry

A: I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt that said, "HAVE YOU SEEN ME?" So I would say him, and of course Joe Biden.

Submitted by Not Al Gore from Somewhere green

Q: Will you consider a former VP as your running mate?

Answered 08/28/08 13:47:53 by Dave Barry

A: The plane can lift only so much, Al.

Submitted by Jay from Alpharetta, GA

Q: Whats your plans for Cuba as President?

Answered 08/28/08 13:47:11 by Dave Barry

A: I will return it to my mother-in-law.

Submitted by Soulchef from cable repair Hell

Q: Has there been any good swag handed out at the covention?

Answered 08/28/08 13:46:50 by Dave Barry

A: Joe Biden.

Submitted by NotSoShyJan from San Jose CA

Q: Dave, how do I get ketchup stains out of my Dave Barry for President (YOTUS) shirt?

Answered 08/28/08 13:46:06 by Dave Barry

A: Experts recommend a blowtorch.

Submitted by Peg Leg Pete from Endicott, NY

Q: I'm assuming you'll be outlawing low-flow toilets. How about those low-flow shower heads?

Answered 08/28/08 13:45:16 by Dave Barry

A: What, you don't like discovering residual shampoo in your hair hours later?

Submitted by Steve (The 24 Guy) from The Boonies, IL

Q: Dave, Do you think James Carville could help out in your administration with some of the problems we're seeing in Eastern Europe?

Answered 08/28/08 13:44:24 by Dave Barry

A: Yes. We could get a big projector and shine a giant image of his face on the clouds, and everybody in Eastern Europe would surrender. Along with France, obviously.

Submitted by Steve from Massachusetts

Q: Will Captain Morgan have a position in your cabinet?

Answered 08/28/08 13:43:07 by Dave Barry

A: He will be Secretary of Responsiblyness.

Dave Barry: Election '08

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