Dave Barry is running for President of the United States -- but because he is a trained journalism professional, he is also sporadically covering the other, lesser candidates. On Jan. 8, 29 and on future dates that he can't disclose just yet, he'll be chatting live from 1-2 p.m. here. That's right, he'll actually be sitting behind a computer at the very same time as you, the reader, send him questions and comments. Please keep in mind that while Dave will answer as many questions as he can, he will laugh at most of them and delete them. That said, Dave may actually answer a question, and it could be yours.
Dave Barry: Election '08
Chat live with Dave Barry!Most Recently Answered Questions
Questions 36 - 55 of 144 (Page 3 of 8)Submitted by Siouxie from Miami, Floriduh
Q: Were you surprised that Biden was able to limit his speech to less than three days?
Answered 08/28/08 13:19:01 by Dave Barry
A: They have implanted an electrode.Submitted by Recovering 24 Addict from Seattle, WA
Q: Dave, Who will be the first person you shoot in the thigh as President?
Answered 08/28/08 13:16:08 by Dave Barry
A: Probably the Chief Justice, since he'll be standing right there. This will set the tone for my administration.Submitted by philippe from NC
Q: Dave, will you have lunch with Tom Tancredo in Denver, and if so, what will you order to celebrate the occasion?
Answered 08/28/08 13:15:00 by Dave Barry
A: Tom and I have been partying non-stop. He's passed out in my hotel closet right now.Submitted by Steve (The 24 Guy) from The Boonies, IL
Q: Dave, Rumor has it that Obama will body surf into the crowd after he gives his speech at the Obamacroplis tonight, which is sure to appeal to the youngsters in the crowd. What would you, after your acceptance speech do to top that?
Answered 08/28/08 13:13:49 by Dave Barry
A: The world's biggest Jell-O shot.Submitted by ripped from Roseburg, OR
Q: Dave, will you be making any campaign trips to the great state of Oregon?
Answered 08/28/08 13:10:58 by Dave Barry
A: That depends on the greatness level of the contributions Oregon makes to me.Submitted by Bob Seagram from Toronto, Canada
Q: I see that you made a joint campaign appearance with your arch-rival Captain Morgan. Won't his candidacy cut into your natural bar-room floor demographic?
Answered 08/28/08 13:09:30 by Dave Barry
A: The captain does have some advantages, namely (1)height, and (2) an entourage of attractive women. But he weakens his appeal by constant use of the word "responsibly." You will never hear my campaign urging anybody to do anything responsibly. You will never hear my campaign urging anybody to do anything, period.Submitted by Siouxie from Miami, Floriduh
Q: Dave, What is your position (heh!) on bird porn?
Answered 08/28/08 13:06:33 by Dave Barry
A: Has anybody actually gone to YouTube and searched for "bird porn?" It's mighty disturbing.Submitted by Mike from East Windsor NJ
Q: Dave, Have you had any ill effects from the thin air in Denver?
Answered 08/28/08 13:05:30 by Dave Barry
A: I can't find my pants.Submitted by Hammond Rye
Q: When you take Office, will you have the Rock Bottom Remainders play "Louie, Louie" instead of "Hail to the Chief" to announce you at State functions?
Answered 08/28/08 13:03:47 by Dave Barry
A: Unfortunately, "Louie Louie" exceeds our chord limit (one). Maybe we could play a shorter version. Just "Louie."Submitted by Soulchef from cable repair Hell
Q: When elected, will you mandate the death penalty for cable repairmen who make you wait all day for them and then call at the last minute to tell you they won't make it until the next day?
Answered 08/28/08 13:02:48 by Dave Barry
A: That seems fair and balanced.Submitted by Ron from miami, Fl
Q: Dave I studied for a year at the Air Force Base in Denver and we could drink 3.2% beer as long as we were 18 yrs old! Is that law still in effect?
Answered 08/28/08 13:01:10 by Dave Barry
A: Only while you're actually flying combat aircraft.Submitted by Mark from Vero Beach
Q: Thanks for the chat Dave! You're the best.
Answered 01/29/08 19:01:28 by Dave Barry
A: Thank you, Mark of Vero Beach, and all the rest of you who joined in.Submitted by Di from Windy City
Q: Will it be an Aztek with spinners?
Answered 01/29/08 18:59:41 by Dave Barry
A: The one advantage of the Aztek, as a presidential vehicle, is that it's so ugly it would temporarily blind anybody trying to shoot at it.Submitted by judi from miami
Q: what will happen when you invite gene weingarten to the white house?
Answered 01/29/08 18:57:12 by Dave Barry
A: The cleaning staff will resign.Submitted by jessica from miami
Q: Dave, I just spent 1400 dollars on my sick cat, and now my live-in boyfriend won't let me have a dog. How can I convince him that a canine would be a sound investment in our future?
Answered 01/29/08 18:56:53 by Dave Barry
A:Submitted by Mark from Vero Beach
Q: If elected President are you going to continue to drive around in that black limo, or are you going to get some really bitchin new ride?
Answered 01/29/08 18:51:55 by Dave Barry
A: I want those rims that keep spinning around after the car stops.Submitted by The Same Altogether from Richmond, VA
Q: "not to mention their many IRS audits." Don't you think a more effective modern-day punishment would be repeatedly sending them through airport security with no clear, resealable, one-quart plastic bags?
Answered 01/29/08 18:50:58 by Dave Barry
A: That would be cruel and unusual. So, sure.Submitted by Larry from Washington, DC
Q: Who has a wider stance, Brady or Manning?
Answered 01/29/08 18:50:21 by Dave Barry
A: It is none of my business, as long as they have consenting centers.Submitted by Meanie the Blue from About 175 Miles Due Southeast of Miami
Q: As President, would you consider ordering the National Weather Service to abandon its lame practice of using first names for hurricanes and tropical storms? If so, what types of names would you prefer?
Answered 01/29/08 18:49:50 by Dave Barry
A: I think they should give them scarier names, like Hellstorm of Doom, or Dick Cheney.Submitted by Leetie from Fairfax, VA
Q: Did Drew Peterson do it?
Answered 01/29/08 18:47:38 by Dave Barry
A:
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