Q. What do Donald Trump, Kanye West and Meghan Trainor have in common?
A. They’re all conspiring to turn downtown Miami into a trafficopalypse Friday night.
In a weirdly unlikely confluence of alternate sociopolitical universes, all three are appearing at downtown venues Friday night, sucking tens of thousands of fans — and, undoubtedly, their cars — into a traffic vortex to rival Zika, face-eating zombies and other supra-natural Miami phenomena.
Trump will talk up his big beautiful wall at a rally at the James L. Knight Center at 6 p.m.. Trainor sings “All About That Bass,” her signature ode to big butts, in concert at Bayfront Park Ampitheatre at 7 p.m. And West raps “Famous,” his declaration of sexual aspirations regarding his pop nemesis Taylor Swift, at 8 p.m. at the AmericanAirlines Arena.
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For their fans, this seems like a good moment for a reminder that Metrorail operates until midnight. And for everybody else, well, you’ve been warned.