Jeri Lyn Stone -- an all-state concert-master, president of the science honor society, AP scholar and Silver Knight -- caused a small scandal at Miami Killian Senior High her senior year when she exhibited a bit of restraint not usually associated with such high achievers.

She turned down a second run as the school's drum major.

In an era of hyper-competitive students -- when kindergartners fight for spots in first-grade gifted classes and students hire college coaches in middle school -- some would say Stone might have written her own rejection letter.

"I was like, OK, are colleges going to look at this and say, 'she's not dedicated, so we're not interested?' But I didn't join because I felt like other things were more important, " says Stone, who graduated in May. "A lot of people say, 'I don't want to do this, ' but they stay in because colleges look at it. But then they're completely miserable."

What Stone discovered is she survived. Not only did she survive -- and have the time she wanted to devote to her family -- but she still graduated sixth in her class and landed a spot at Vanderbilt University's Blair School of Music.

It's enough to make any parent proud. But the problem today, psychologists and pediatricians say, is that many parents expect nothing less from their children. In an effort to raise a "well-rounded" child exposed to a variety of experiences, many parents instead are raising the bar and expecting their child to excel at every experience.

We often hear about the success stories. But the reality is that while some children thrive under pressure, many don't. And the results of chronic stress can be disastrous: increased risk of obesity, cardiovascular disease, depression and anxiety.

UNDER PRESSURE

"The pressure is incredible, " said Gary Lancelotta, head of pediatric psychology at Baptist Children's Hospital. "For some kids, being well-rounded means being involved in two things and for some it's being able to juggle student government, sports, volunteering for the homeless and homework. We as parents have to reflect on what our expectations are of our kids and we also have to consider at what cost.?"

The American Academy of Pediatrics issued a warning last year to parents in an unprecedented report on over-extended children. The doctors' advice: Don't insist that your child be a superstar. The academy called on pediatricians to advocate for more play time and less stress in kids' lives.

"Pediatricians should encourage parents to allow children to explore a variety of interests in a balanced way without feeling pressured to excel in each area, " the report urges. The report went on to say that today's changing work world is leaving parents more than ever in the dark about the skills their kids will need for the future. This uncertainty is driving many to seek out enrichment programs and cling to the belief that if they expose their children to everything, kids will have the best chance to be prepared. But shuttling kids between numerous activities may not be the best use of time.

Instead, the report suggests, children would be more poised for success if they could bask in the knowledge that their parents unconditionally loved them.

There are signs that others want to curb the competitiveness. Some universities are dropping out of U.S. News & World Report's "best colleges" rankings, arguing that students should seek a school best for them, not one that tops some generalized list. Admissions offices are starting to talk about the appeal of students with singular passions, not driven, multi-taskers. THE DRIVE TO SUCCEED

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