We are now told that the White House envisions peace in the Middle East within two years. I assume that if I were a fly on the wall in the Oval Office, when President Obama and his closest aides discussed how to accomplish that, I would be hearing the following.

President Obama: Guys, let's get our act together. Two weeks have passed, and we're still at square one.

Hillary?

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: Well, we haven't lost a moment. We brought together the best minds -- veteran diplomats, professors, political scientists -- to brainstorm how to move the Arabs and the Israelis toward peace.

Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel (sneering): Professors! They teach Russian history at Stanford, and they think they understand the world.

Clinton: Anyway, we produced a volume of 600 pages.

Obama: No, no, give me only the bottom line.

Clinton: Well, Mr. President, it's a bit embarrassing.

Obama: Give it to us anyway.

Clinton: OK, it is the consensus of all the experts that ``sovereign peoples who have their own interests and their own free will will resist American pressure.''

Obama: What? Can't these people see that we are only trying to help them?

Unidentified: ``Why can't those Arabs and Jews just sit down, and like good Christians settle their differences?''

Giggling.

Obama: What about the Arabs? We engaged them, didn't we? Aren't they grateful?

Laughter.

Clinton: And Netanyahu? He said in public that he was for a two-state solution.

Obama: Indeed, but how can we tell if he really meant it?

CIA Director Leon Panetta: Our mind readers are working on this.

Obama: We have mind readers? By G-d, what else are you guys hiding?

Panetta: That's an old story, Mr. President. We have been reading the minds of other people for years.

Obama: And?

Panetta: Well, it's tricky. You see, Arabs have different minds than the Israelis and both have minds that are different from ours.

National Security Adviser Gen. Jim Jones: Indeed. We better hurry, before Iran becomes nuclear.

Panetta: Hmm, they are nuclear already.

All: What?!

Obama: But I saw your report, it says 2019.

Panetta: Well, there was a typo. It's 2009. Sorry.

Obama: Thank you very much. Now what?

Unidentified aide: Mr. President, Dr. Henry Kissinger is here.

Obama: Good, we need someone with real experience in the region. Henry, so good to see you. Tell us, what should we do to achieve peace in the Middle East?

Kissinger: Nothing, Mr. President.

Obama: What do you mean, nothing?

Kissinger: Nothing. In war or peace, America shouldn't be doing anything there. Those bastards should sort it out themselves.

Clinton (whispering): What is he talking about?

Kissinger: I heard that! Never mind. You will wear out your own shoes shuttling back and forth like I did, and you will accomplish nothing. The only way is to let them bleed each other to exhaustion. Then they turn to us, and without lifting a finger we become relatively stronger. This is what I did with President Nixon in the Yom Kippur War.

Obama: And what about peace?

Kissinger: The same. It works only when they sit down and make genuine peace between themselves. When this happens, all we have to do is provide a photo-op at Camp David.

Obama: You mean to say that all the huge efforts of this administration, all the pressure we are putting to bear on everybody, the announcements, the emissaries, the deadlines, the carrots and the sticks, all this is for nothing? That all this might even backfire on us?

Kissinger: Mr. President, you said it.

Uri Dromi is a columnist based in Jerusalem.

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