BIG SCREEN

OPENING FRIDAY

Up (PG): Judging by the reactions following Up's premiere at the Cannes Film Festival last week, the Pixar Animation wizards have cranked out another winner with this story of a 78-year-old curmudgeon (voiced by Ed Asner) who ties thousands of balloons to his house and floats away to the wilds of South America.

The Brothers Bloom (PG-13): This second film by director Rian Johnson, who previously made the intriguing Brick, stars Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo as the titular veteran con men who set their sights on a beautiful -- and rich -- heiress (Rachel Weisz). Then love blooms, ruining the brothers' best-laid plans.

The Lemon Tree (unrated): German filmmaker Eran Riklis directs this fact-based drama about a Palestinian widow who tries to protect her lemon-tree field from being torn down by the Israel defense minister who lives next door.

-- RENE RODRIGUEZ

The Goode Family (9 p.m. Wednesday, ABC) -- A new cartoon series from Mike Judge, the creator of Beavis & Butthead and King of the Hill, mercilessly lampoons political correctness by focusing on a family of vegan organic gardeners whose watchword is WWAGD, What would Al Gore Do?

New World Order (6:45 p.m. Tuesday, IFC) -- This documentary about conspiracy nuts who see everything from the Kennedy assassination to 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina as part of one seamless web of oppression spun by a tiny cabal of global overseers is infuriating, hilarious and finally sad. ''It's not a joke,'' says one addled but utterly sincere young man, tears of frustration rolling down his cheeks. ``We're not kidding. We're for real!''

Hitched Or Ditched (9 p.m. Tuesday, The CW) -- Watch at your own risk: My own conspiracy theory is The CW is airing this unspeakable swill -- a reality show in which brides and grooms ditch one another at the altar for fun and prizes -- to monitor who tunes in. Anybody sticking around to the end gets shipped to Guantanamo as mentally unstable.

Safe Harbor (9 p.m. Saturday, Hallmark Channel) -- Treat Williams and Nancy Travis star in the true story of a retired Jacksonville couple who give up their plans to sail around the world in order to open a home for troubled boys. Maybe they could take in some of the contestants from Hitched Or Ditched.

-- GLENN GARVIN

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