I thought about starting this column borrowing an idea from Sesame Street: 'This column has been brought to you by the letter `W'. '' But that was before I visited the WHotel, which opened just two weeks ago on Fort Lauderdale beach (401 N. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd). The W is far too stunning for a Snuffleupagus or Oscar reference.

Huge circles, reminiscent of oversized bicycle rims, are suspended from the ceiling and radiate amber light. The decorative floor features gray, black and white bricks, which suggest a freeze-frame of TV static. Down-tempo techno music pulses from hidden speakers and seemingly space-age sofas of aquamarine and seafoam line the wall. And this is just outside at the valet parking station.

I felt a little like Woody Allen in Sleeper because I couldn't find a front desk at this ultra modern hotel. I looked around one corner and ended up in the men's restroom. After washing my hands as if I intended to be there (and to be extra swine flu careful) I headed to Whiskey Blue, the W's main bar on the first floor. The room is illuminated by stalactites of blue tubes and the flicker of battery operated ''candles'' near the circular, Middle Eastern-inspired couches. Intermingling with the down-tempo techno are early U2 hits, cuts from the new Depeche Mode album and surf guitar songs. The music on the outside patio is set at a perfect volume because you can keep a conversation without raising your voice and you won't need to tune in too hard to hear the surf or wind rustling through palm trees.

The W is already a magnet for the type of hip crowd you'd expect to find in South Beach. Breathtaking beauties in a Victoria's Secret catalog would be jealous of the bartenders and cocktail waitresses working at Whiskey Blue. I approached the brunette behind the bar with trepidation because she resembled a girl in high school who wouldn't give me the time of day. But along with the rest of the staff, she was sweet, unpretentious and made me feel a lot less Woody Allenish.

The drink menu features 20 noteworthy specialty drinks, including the Absinthe Minded Refresher. It's mixed with Le Tourment Vert (authentic French absinthe), Cointreau, St. Germain Elder Flower (sounds like something from the Harry Potter books), lime and simple syrup. You can also choose from two dozen tequilas, 14 bourbons, 14 Scotches (including the Macallan aged 30 years for $225 a pour), a couple of cognacs, ports and the usual suspects from the vodkas, gins and rums. There's an extensive wine selection with choices by the glass from $10 to $18.

Snooping around, I found the Living Room lounge as well as the elusive front desk on the third floor of the hotel. The Living Room is extraordinarily stylish with Asian simplicity and other worldliness. Buddha Bar beats provide background music. The bar counter, wall decorations and couches line up in perfect feng shui fashion and a kaleidoscope of images are projected onto concave screens affixed to the vaulted ceiling.

I was too intrigued to ignore the staircase in the corner so I jogged up two flights and found myself encircled by thick plexiglass walls that kept me separated from what looked like thousands of gallons of water. Like Poseidon, I emerged from the center of the infinity pool and took a seat at the outdoor bar Wet.

This bar offers a full menu, beverages and a sweeping view of the ocean. Shorts and T-shirts are the norm at Wet but guests get spruced up for Whiskey Blue and the Living Room. Guys sport button-downs and jeans and women wear skimpy dresses and tight tops. But as long as you don't look like Oscar the Grouch, you'll get served.

COMING UP

• Sosos opens for Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue Friday at Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets are $15; doors open at 8 p.m.

• Gilbert Gottfried takes the stage at the Improv at 8 and 10:30 p.m. Friday and 7 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. Saturday at Seminole Paradise at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, 5700 Seminole Way, near Hollywood; 954-981-5653 or click to www.improvftl.com; $23.70 (includes tax) plus a two-drink minimum; reservations suggested.

• In other news at the Hard Rock, sorry to report that Jazziz Bistro, also in Seminole Paradise, has closed. We're told a new restaurant will be opening, so stay tuned.

• Bring your pooch to the Riverwalk Mutts & Martinis Yappy Hour from 5:30-8 p.m. Friday at the Laura Ward Plaza (next to Riverside Hotel along the Riverwalk) in downtown Fort Lauderdale. Pay $20 ($15 in advance -- visit www.GoRiverwalk.com) for the cocktail hour, which includes two drinks, appetizers, music, raffles, prizes and contests (like ''Cutest Dog'' and ''Best Personality Pooch.'' You don't need a dog to attend. There will be dog adoptions provided by Humane Society of Broward County; proceeds from the event benefit the Riverwalk Trust, with a portion donated to the Humane Society. Information: 954-468-1541 or visit www.GoRiverwalk.com

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