It's been a little less than a month since my ''Race to find a Valentine's Day beau'' began. I've talked on the phone with more than 30 guys, exchanged about 250 e-mails, e-cards and instant messages and met for 10 face-to-face dates. And as much as I'd like to share my findings, I'm going to keep you in suspense. Mostly because I'm still in suspense.

But I will reveal this. When I jumped into this race I had an unresolved issue: Should I tell guys about this project or will my telling them sabotage my chances of finding that special someone? For answers, I turned to Nancy Slotnick and Ian Kerner, two nationally renowned relationship experts and members of my recently formed relationship and dating panel.

Slotnick is a love life coach and the author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less. Ian Kerner is one of AOL's Love & Sex Coaches and the author of several books on relationships including Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either.

Proving once again that men and women are indeed from different planets, their responses were wildly different.

Q: As you know, I'm ''Surfing for a Sweetheart'' by Valentine's Day by pitting a few dating sites against one another (JDate, Match and Chemistry). Should I tell the guys about what I'm doing? My quest is sincere but I'm also reporting a story and that's sincere, too.

I'm afraid that guys might be a bit freaked out about possibly being written about -- even though I'm not planning to reveal anyone's identity. I don't want to sabotage this experience because I'd very much like to have a boyfriend by Valentine's Day.

In addition, I don't usually discuss my dating life with anyone other than close friends, let alone hundreds of thousands of Miami Herald readers. How should I handle this?

Nancy Slotnick: Unfortunately for you, I am putting the ball back in your court. You have to make a choice. In dating, as in life, there are lots of choices, and part of the skill of dating smart is to make decisions about priorities. So, I will say to you: You have to decide which is more important by Valentine's Day -- getting a boyfriend or getting a great article in the paper?

We always love to have our cake and eat it, too. But you should pick one and act accordingly. If the boyfriend is the priority, then date sincerely and don't tell them about the article. If you get a boyfriend out of it, then you will have to come clean in February, and I will be glad to coach you through that. Or, worst-case scenario, you would have to bag the article, but you will have a great boyfriend.

Alternatively, if your journalistic integrity comes first, then you should disclose. Not before the date, but on the date. So really, it's up to you. But I would go with your love life -- because I'm a love life coach! Sometimes you have to give up in order to get.

Ian Kerner: My personal opinion would be to tell the guys. After all you're a writer and journalist, and anyone who becomes involved with you is going to have to learn that your life is your canvas. From writing from experience, to personal essays, to the memoir down the line, whomever you have a relationship with is first and foremost going to have to understand that they're in a relationship with a writer.

The only downside to telling the guys ahead of time is that they may alter their behavior a bit, or be on best behavior, but with a little disclosure at the top of the date about what and why you're doing the story, you'll be able to focus on the date with ease. My big policy for dating is no lying, so I'd advise you to do the same regardless of the circumstances.

Have an opinion? Share your thoughts on the ''Surfing for a Sweetheart'' blog. I need all the help I can get.

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