Q: We had a young couple as house guests last year, and their behavior was quite startling. (They may be coming back at Thanksgiving.) They literally acted as if we were there to wait on them hand and foot. They left their room a shambles, they had opportunities to pay for things like a few groceries but never even offered, and they were very loud late at night (not watching TV, I assure you). Please advise your younger generation of the keys to being a proper house guest.

A: It all boils down to a simple precept that has been preached forever by our fellow tree-huggers -- leave the environment in better shape than when you arrived. (Which of course is impossible because you've degraded that environment already by your very presence. But you could always leave a mint on a camp pillow and call it even.)

Here are some tips for those of you who were raised by wolves:

• Clean up after yourself. Remember, it's not your house! Just because you have nicknames for your resident roaches doesn't mean your hosts are as into animals as you are.

• Make your freakin' bed. Yours hosts will end up stripping it and fumigating anyway, but it's still a nice gesture.

• Offer to help, whether it's with the cooking or making a beer run. They'll likely decline, so don't be afraid to be generous with your offers.

• Pay for something. On that beer run, for example, insist on picking up the tab. And that doesn't make it OK to opt for the Bud Light. No one likes a cheapskate.

• Keep it down. Yes, we know vacations can release all sorts of libidinous hormones, but please be aware Granny sleeping next door might not appreciate your headboard thumping against her wall at 2 a.m. Unless hers is also thumping, in which case, knock yourself out.

Male Call answers questions on etiquette, relationships, men's style and more. Write to malecall@mercurynews.com.

Join the discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. In order to post comments, you must be a registered user of MiamiHerald.com. Your username will show along with the comments you post. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

     Showing: Oldest first Newest first Most-recommended first Least-recommended first

@Nyx.AuthorDisplayName@ wrote on @Nyx.PostedAtTime@:

@Nyx.repliedToText@

@Nyx.replyAnswerText@

Reply to this Comment @Nyx.Recommender@ @Nyx.AbuseReporter@