Q: My best friend is making some bad choices, and I'm not sure what I can or should do about it. She broke up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her, but now they're back together. Why she would go back to this guy is beyond me. He even hit on me once.

A: It can be difficult watching your friends or loved ones make stupid decisions. The thing is, if she's in no physical danger, there are only a limited number of things you can do, that are legal anyway. (If you want to go the illegal route, contact Tonya Harding.)

Certainly you can try to talk some sense into her. Whether it's a ``Hon, we need to have a little heart-to-heart'' conversation, or a more nuanced, ``What in the name of Lorena Bobbitt are you thinking, girl!?'' it's incumbent on you as a BFF to point out the obvious, just as you would if she wore leggings with hot pants.

In your conversation, you can make a few observations re: the cheating -- like, if he cheats once, he's likely to do it again, and, now that he knows you'll come back after something like that, he might feel he can get away with anything.

But although the cheating is certainly troubling, the bottom line is you don't really know what goes on in someone else's relationship, despite your best-friendship, and what the real motives are for staying with someone. Maybe he's basically a good guy and treats her well, and this was a one-time (cough) mistake. Maybe deep down she's insecure and she feels safe with him. Maybe he's rich, or simply has a huge record collection.

The most you can do is let your friend know how you feel, but then assure her you'll be there for her long after Romeo has split. In the meantime, how about hosting a girls' night in? Suggested viewing: Thelma and Louise.

Male Call answers questions on etiquette, relationships, men's style and more. Write to malecall@mercurynews.com.

Join the discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. In order to post comments, you must be a registered user of MiamiHerald.com. Your username will show along with the comments you post. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

     Showing: Oldest first Newest first Most-recommended first Least-recommended first

@Nyx.AuthorDisplayName@ wrote on @Nyx.PostedAtTime@:

@Nyx.repliedToText@

@Nyx.replyAnswerText@

Reply to this Comment @Nyx.Recommender@ @Nyx.AbuseReporter@