You know what football season means: beer, chips and crowding around the television with a bunch of dudes to whoop, holler and bump fists. But if you tend to save your fist-bumps for the smackdowns on Project Runway, you might feel a little out of place when the party chat revolves around whether the Broncos will cover against the Chargers or if the Redskins overspent yet again during the off-season.

Buck up, rookie. We know a thing or two about the game. Or gamesmanship, at least. Stop checking your watch and waiting for the chips to come around again -- we have the skinny on faking your way through game day from an insider's insider, Trey Wingo, host of ESPN's weekday football roundup, NFL Live.

Here's his faker game plan.

1. Steer the conversation toward what you know.

If pop culture is more your thing, research what football players are entwined with starlets, or what players moonlight as actors. Hints: New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is married to Gisele Bundchen, and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo had a well-publicized romance with Jessica Simpson.

``Females can always play the Simpson-Bundchen card,'' Wingo said.

2. Memorize a few phrases most football fans don't understand.

Like, if you hear that an interception has been thrown, squint at the replay and say, ``There must have been a Cover 2 zone on that defense.''

``People will look at you like you know what you're talking about because they won't know what you're talking about,'' Wingo said, ``but they won't want to admit it. They'll never challenge you.''

3. Stay away from fantasy football.

``Those guys are die-hard,'' Wingo said. ``If they catch you as a faker, they'll rip your soul out and enjoy it.'' If asked about fantasy football, say you don't do it. If asked why, lie. Wingo suggests, ``With the downturn in the economy, I've had to focus on my portfolio.''

4. Keep in mind this season's pertinent story lines: Michael Vick's return to the NFL after a prison sentence for dogfighting and Brett Favre coming out of retirement to play for the Minnesota Vikings.

``If you ask, `Should Michael Vick have gotten a second chance?' you don't even have to finish the conversation,'' Wingo said. ``You want to start a conversation and let it germinate around you. Then walk away and get some dip.''

5. Most important: They are uniforms, not outfits. ``If you say `What a nice outfit,' you might as well just leave and go shopping,'' Wingo said.

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