Q:Recently I have engaged in impromptu conversations with young men that quickly turned into interrogations. When did you graduate from high school? Are you married? Do you have kids? What are you passionate about?

I don't mind the questions so much as the way they are delivered. There is no conversation or repartee.

A: What, you're out enjoying a leisurely Harvey Wallbanger or two and you didn't expect to be rigorously questioned by random strangers? Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, either.

Our best guess here is that these sad fellows have read a few too many dating-advice tips on the Internet. These online repositories of knowledge offer such incisive suggestions as, Be curious! Ask questions! Approach anyone! Wear a funny lid reminiscent of Cat in the Hat!

It's all correct as far as it goes, but what they don't say is that these techniques must be situational. For a trip to the laundromat, guys, leave the hat at home and instead pursue a thread-count or silk damask line of inquiry. (We don't know what damask is either -- bondage gear? -- but it sounds good, right? Feel free to use it.)

It may be that they're trying to apply the well-known chick-attracting ''cocky, funny'' routine, but without the cocky and without the funny. Or maybe the infamous ''neg'' gambit, in which you are subtly insulted and then expected to shed your first three layers of clothes because the guy is so charmingly counterintuitive.

So no, it's not simply that he has a list of qualifications that must be met -- for goodness sake, he's hitting on you in your mechanic's service bay!

Let's not forget the most important ingredient in any of these encounters -- your role. If you feel like you're being interrogated, say something like, ''Hey, what's with the 20 questions? I don't date lawyers, you know.'' Then start asking him questions.

And there's always the clincher, to see if he's really interested: ``So, do you mind ordering me another Harvey Wallbanger?''

Join the discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. In order to post comments, you must be a registered user of MiamiHerald.com. Your username will show along with the comments you post. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

     Showing: Oldest first Newest first Most-recommended first Least-recommended first

@Nyx.AuthorDisplayName@ wrote on @Nyx.PostedAtTime@:

@Nyx.repliedToText@

@Nyx.replyAnswerText@

Reply to this Comment @Nyx.Recommender@ @Nyx.AbuseReporter@