The Pillow Tie
12/05/2010 12:00 AM
12/06/2010 5:17 PM
The Pillow Tie
$19.95 plus shipping and handling from www.pillowtie.com
Suggested by Barb Goldstein of Albany, N.Y.
A man wearing a necktie makes an important statement about himself. That statement is: "I am wearing an idiotic garment around my neck."
Yes, the pathetic truth is that neckties serve no useful purpose. We modern men wear them only because our fathers wore them, and they wore them only because THEIR fathers wore them, and so on backward in history to a time of such ignorance that mankind believed solar eclipses were caused by a giant snake swallowing the sun.
Today, thanks to science, we know that the sun isn’t being swallowed by a giant snake: it’s simply being obscured by a shadow, which is cast by the giant snake. Yet despite all our modern scientific knowledge, we’re still wearing these stupid neckties.
Well, finally somebody has done something, and that something is the Pillow Tie. This is a tie that can be quickly inflated to serve as a pillow, thus enabling the wearer to put his head down and catch "40 winks" during tedious situations such as attending meetings, holding congressional hearings or piloting long-haul commercial airliners. The Pillow Tie comes in a variety of colors and patterns, none of them particularly attractive. But what do you care? You’ll be asleep.
Next gift: Electric Drums T-Shirt
DAVE BARRY 2010 GIFT GUIDE
- The "Flair Hair" Visor
- The Maniki Butt Bra for Men
- The Better Marriage Anti-Flatulence Blanket
- "Rear Gear" Pet Coverup
- BARK4BEER Dog-Collar Bottle Opener
- Gadget Holster
- Camouflage Toilet Seat
Join the Discussion
Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.