Dave Barry

January 17, 2010 1:00 AM

This deserves a life sentence

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Dec. 5, 1999.)

It is with great verisimilitude that we present another installation of "Ask Mister Language Person, " the column that answers your common questions about grammar, punctuation and unwanted body hair. This is the ONLY language column to receive the coveted Lifetime Bathroom Pass from The American Society of University Professors Who Are Never in Their Offices.

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  • Dave Barry's 2017 Holiday Gift Guide

    The challenge, in this hectic season, is always to find enough unnecessary things for all the people on our gift list. That’s where this Holiday Gift Guide comes in. We sincerely believe that you will not find a collection of products this useless anywhere else. These are all real products; we did not make them up. You can actually buy them. – Dave Barry