HACKENSACK, N.J. -- When Edith Frank, 83, got an offer on her three-bedroom Florida house, there was a catch: The buyer wanted to close in two weeks. No way, she thought; she couldn't possibly sort through a lifetime's possessions so quickly.

But at her daughter's urging, she took the offer and started getting rid of most of her belongings.

``It was extremely painful,'' Frank said recently at Heritage Pointe of Teaneck, N.J., where she now lives in a one-bedroom apartment. But her daughter advised her to look forward, not back. ``My daughter told me, `You have to think about where you're going and how lovely it's going to be. Think about how the apartment is going to look.' ''

Many people downsize as they age, trading the responsibilities of a large house for a cozier space where someone else mows the lawn and shovels the snow. One of the toughest parts of this journey is dealing with all the stuff -- the family photos, furniture, lamps, vases, dishes, glasses and on and on -- that accumulates over the years.

Homeowners can feel ``completely overwhelmed,'' said Bernadette Flaim of Attention2Detail, a design and organizing firm in Leonia, N.J. And because many older people grew up during the Depression, she said, ``they have tremendous difficulty letting go.''

Most downsizers use a combination of strategies: They give stuff to family and friends, donate it to charity or sell it.

Frank, a retired interior designer, gave books to libraries and donated her late husband's Steinway piano -- he was a professional musician -- to a church. She also gave her husband's old sheet music to a music store, though she wishes she had kept some of it for events at Heritage Point, a retirement community.

She gave furniture and other household items to friends, and called in a used-furniture dealer who bought some of her best pieces. When he was done, another dealer came in and offered her $1,000 for whatever was left.

In the end, Frank took relatively few items north to Teaneck, where she moved to be closer to her family. She brought end tables, lamps, vases and, of course, memorabilia that included family photos and a scrapbook of almost 500 love notes and poems from her husband, Irv.

Like many older people, she had hoped to pass furniture on to family members, but her daughter and grandchildren didn't have the room to take much.

BE CHOOSY

As a former decorator, she would advise other downsizers to be choosy about what they keep.

``Take your personal treasures,'' she said. ``I don't mean jewelry. I mean special books and special memorabilia.''

Frank also advised downsizers to measure their new homes carefully, to make sure they don't take furniture that won't fit in the space -- advice echoed by Flaim and her partner, Sue Corbo. Too often, people pay to move large pieces of furniture and then discover they won't fit in the new, smaller home.

Sandra Schwab, who moved from a large house to a townhouse, said she got rid of ``tons of stuff.''

``We finally threw out the boxes we never opened from our last move 10 years ago,'' she said. ``Once a week, we had a pickup by the Vietnam Veterans.''

Through a friend's church, Schwab found a needy family who had lost their home to fire; she gave them blankets, towels and other household goods. She donated books and clothes to nonprofits. Her daughter and niece took some furniture.

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