Posted on Thu, Jun. 19, 2008

For years, Pam Anderson searched for the perfect recipe, first in her job as executive editor for Cook's Illustrated, then as the author of The Perfect Recipe.

That search for perfection sometimes meant testing the same brownie, lemon meringue pie or chicken recipe 100 or more times to get the one with the perfect texture, perfect taste, perfect appearance.

But it wasn't until her most recent journey that the food columnist for USA Weekend and contributing editor to Fine Cooking unlocked the real secret of the perfect recipe.

``Perfection is relative, I've learned. Perfect to me for a weeknight is simply getting food on the table. Perfect to me is having people over and having a good time. These days, food is a means to an end rather than an end in itself.''

Anderson, who lives in Darien, Conn., talked of the struggle that changed her definition of perfection and led to her latest book, The Perfect Recipe for Losing Weight & Eating Great (Houghton Mifflin, $27).

As she explains it, she didn't set out to write a book about losing weight.

``I went through a real period where I was kind of directionless. I got hit with a double whammy. First, we had a big move after living in one place 11 years, then I got hit with empty nest. It made me examine my life.''

In retrospect, it was a ''case of no pain, no gain,'' she says, ''but I went through a very painful period'' learning that.

Until that time, Anderson, the classic overachiever, considered herself fortunate, thinking she had ''this great career'' and ''a great relationship with [her Episcopalian minister] husband.'' But with those personal changes, she felt ''old and emotionally spent,'' she says, and the ``directionless hit me in a pretty typical way. I had very little motivation; at that point, my self-esteem was suffering.''

At some point, Anderson decided she had three choices: She could continue as she was going, go hide (''which is really what I wanted to do and if I'd had a second home that's what I would have done'') or ``get up and do something.''

She chose to ''do something,'' scheduling appointments with a medical doctor and a therapist, ``not realizing at the time that those two acts were going to result in my weight loss.

``I didn't think that was my problem at that time. We all have those times when we go in the dressing room and hate the way we look in clothes. The truth was I didn't know how to get there. I had already tried all the diets and I was not going to do that again. It's painful to go to all that work and use all that energy, to watch yourself slowly creep back up and become as big or bigger than you were before.''

What made the difference this time, she says, was understanding that she had to stop caring about what others thought of her and what they would do if she changed. She had to care for herself first, stop working so hard for others and demanding too little of her husband.

Learning what felt ''healthy'' and ''good'' took some time, but as she started to heal, she discovered she was losing weight.

Her changes were simple. She started ``exercising a little more, eating a little less. By caring about my body, I was energized and felt like exercising. Because of the therapy piece, I also was lightened emotionally. I got rid of all that burden and all that weight.''

Anderson lost nearly 50 pounds through exercise (walking first, then walking-running, then running-walking as she progressed) and eating six small meals a day. She has maintained the loss for three years.

``Instead of villainizing all those foods you love, then sheepishly inviting them back in, you need to make friends with them and let them know you're in charge of them, they're not in charge of you.''

Anderson says she learned to understand that food didn't have to be ultra rich to be flavorful and satisfying. ``Really, a lot of it is putting boundaries around when I eat and how much I eat. I eat well and eat often, but I rarely eat outside the boundaries.''

As she explains her ''boundaries,'' she eats every three to 3 ½ hours, starting with an early morning snack, usually a cup of tea and some fruit maybe half a banana. She has breakfast later, which keeps her from getting the mid-morning munchies. Lunch is a hearty soup or salad, then between 3 and 4 p.m., she has tea time with a little sweet treat. During the diet phase, the sweet was a small treat like a couple of vanilla wafers.

Before beginning dinner preparations, Anderson enjoys a glass of wine and some nuts, which she measures in a little ramekin.

''It's a pleasurable moment, plus it keeps me from picking when I'm preparing dinner. Then I don't need to eat as much dinner,'' she says.

If she omits that snack, she ends up eating more than she needs to at night. ''It's trusting if you take care of your body, it will be satisfied and happy. If you deprive it, it will bite you and it will take care of you,'' she says.

Her cookbook ''is not one of those books that ever get lots of media attention,'' she says. ``Most people want some quick fix and to be told what to do. The fact is it's never going to work if you let someone tell you what to do. You have to figure out your own plan, figure out your own body and your own needs.

``I give you lots of suggestions that worked for me. I'm the author of it, it's my plan. But every day, you have to do it for yourself. It took me two years from the time I had the experience looking at my body to when I lost that first pound. A whole year I didn't do anything, then there was a whole year of healing.

``But it's not a race to the finish. It's the rest of your life. I'm still on my journey.''