When 70-something sexologist Judie Manulkin begins her "sex talks," she asks her younger audiences how many of their parents have sex. "And how many of you think your grandparents are having sex?" Manulkin asks.

"They look around at each other, roll their eyes and hardly any of them raise their hands. The message is that it stops at some particular point," says Man-ulkin, who describes her own sex life with her "lover'' as "better than ever, freer and with less judgment."

"People over 50 are not asked by physicians about their sex lives and sex is just not part of their medical history," said Manulkin, who earned a doctorate of human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexual-ity in San Francisco when she was in her 50s.

In fact, according to a recent New England Journal of Medicine study -- the most comprehensive national survey to date of sexual behavior among older adults -- only about a third of the men and just a fifth of the women had discussed sex with a doctor since age 50.

But the study also revealed that most Americans remain sexually active into their 60s and nearly half continue to have sex into their 70s.

The antics portrayed in the 2005 film The Boynton Beach Bereavement Club, for example, were based on the real life experiences of Boynton Beach widower David Cramer, 81. Much like Cramer, Jack -- who is played by Len Cariou in the film -- becomes the casserole king of his senior community, frequents a bereavement club and eventually hooks up with a new ladyfriend.

"About five months after my wife died I decided to go out in the singles scene. I went to the bereavement group just to get out of the house," said Cramer, now living with his 78-year-old girl-friend Renee. "And most of the conversations there were sexual. They discussed things like ‘after how many dates is it permissible to have sex?' And the opinion was that after three dates it was OK."

Cramer is far from alone. Many South Floridians will tell you that companionship and sex are very much on their minds.

"I'm very healthy and my husband is relatively healthy and, yes, we do have an active sex life, as do most of our friends," said Boynton Beach Bereavement Club producer Florence Sei-delman, 76. "When I got older I think my sex life got even better. When the kids were around we'd lock the door but we always thought they would barge in. When you get older you become freer and more honest and we can get away with more."

GRAYING CAST

Seidelman brought the idea for the film to her famous director daughter Susan Seidelman (Desper-ately Seeking Susan), who happily seized the opportunity to bring together a cast of seniors to explore a topic not often seen in film.

"I think in movies, older people are dealt with as geriatric stereotypes and I thought it was timely to make a movie that showed older people in a more realistic and modern way," Susan Seidel-man said. "A lot of movies that deal with older characters kind of neuter the older characters. They don't really deal with the fact that they're still thinking about sex."

In fact, geriatricians and sex therapists believe sex plays an integral role in seniors' well being and that there's a "use it or lose it'' element involved.

"The biggest thing I find is that the availability of a partner is critical. If that function isn't used, it often doesn't come back," said Dr. Bernard Roos, director of the Division of Gerontology and Geriatric Medicine at the University of Miami's Miller School of Medicine.

Join the discussion

Note: If this is your first time using our NEW commenting system, you will have to LOG OUT and then LOG BACK IN.

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. In order to post comments, you must be a registered user of MiamiHerald.com. Your username will show along with the comments you post. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

     Showing: Oldest first Newest first Most-recommended first Least-recommended first

@Nyx.AuthorDisplayName@ wrote on @Nyx.PostedAtTime@:

@Nyx.CommentBody@

@Nyx.Recommender@ @Nyx.AbuseReporter@