Q:My son is 16, respectful and a good student. We have talked about sex, waiting until marriage, drugs and respect for others. He doesn't want a girlfriend to distract him from school. Yesterday, I discovered his screensaver is a naked woman and he has visited porn sites. In my day, we used to peek at dad's hidden Playboy magazines. Is this normal for a teenage boy?

A: His behavior is certainly normal for a teenage boy. Just as it was natural for you to look at your father's Playboy magazines, it is natural for your son to be curious and view sexually provocative images on his computer.

During adolescence hormones fluctuate greatly and a developing teenage boy understandably would be sexually inquisitive. If he has chosen not to engage in sexual activity, then it would make sense that he would have a greater interest in looking. The temptation may be too difficult to resist, particularly when accessibility to pornographic media is so readily available. Although computer parental controls exist, a determined teenage boy will find a way to view sexually explicit material.

Clearly, you have communicated to your son those values that you deem important. He likely does not want to disregard those values; however, he has his own feelings, which may not always concur with yours. If you are too restrictive, he may feel ashamed for engaging in such natural behavior and seek other alternatives to meet his needs. As long as your son's behavior is not harmful or dangerous, his privacy should be respected.

Shirley C. Malove is a licensed clinical social worker.

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