Q: I'm always doing things for people in my life. My family, friends, even people at work seem to expect me to take care of their problems, but it's never enough. When I'm available for them (which is almost always), I'm ''wonderful,'' but the one time I can't help or they don't like what I suggest, they get mad or blow me off like I don't matter. Why can't they appreciate what I do?
Q: My fiancé urges me to go to graduate school. He's the first person in my life to believe in me. It's my dream, but I'm afraid I won't get accepted. I know he wants his wife to be a professional. What if I fail? What if I want to stay home to raise our children? Will I regret not trying? I'm so confused.
Q: My partner, Jason, and I were foster fathers to Juan, who unfortunately got into trouble, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and placed in a residential setting. The adoption never happened. Now Jason's sister (with addiction problems) is pregnant and wants us to raise the baby. I know my family will be very negative. They considered Juan ``damaged goods'' and will see this baby similarly. Any suggestions?
Q: I'm 47 and divorced. My ex was financially successful but the relationship was empty and unconnected. I've been dating someone for nine months whom I really love. The problem is he's not a professional, and won't be able to have conversations with my friends' husbands about business or important topics. And my family will think he's beneath me and unsophisticated. He doesn't have money, but he's thoughtful, caring and makes me feel so happy. I broke up with him and was so depressed I cried until we got back together. What should I do?
Q: My roommate was orphaned as a child. She moved next door to my family with a neglectful aunt who raised her. My family looked out for her because no one else did. Recently, we decided to become roommates. Now, she constantly asks what I'm doing, where I'm going, when I'll be back. Around my friends, she says inappropriate things and invades their personal space. My friends don't visit and I'm avoiding my apartment. I feel terrible. How do I handle this without hurting her?
Q: Last week I moved my daughter to college in another state. I've always been involved with her activities and pushed her to succeed in school. Now she's the first one ever in my family to go.
Q: I've been married six years to a nice guy -- maybe too nice. The problem is he doesn't confront people who treat him badly. Sometimes he hires and pays for substandard work, then we pay again to get it redone. His friends and family refuse when he asks for help even though he's always available for them. Each time he makes excuses and says it's not worth saying anything. I'm starting to lose respect for him. Why doesn't he learn?
Q: I'm 50. When I was 12, my parents divorced and my dad remarried and moved away. I tried to maintain a relationship, but contact was minimal.
Q: My parents were happily married for 44 years. My family was very close until my mother died almost a year ago. Now my father is engaged to a woman who is only two years older than me! Is he kidding? She is redecorating and trying to take over, but still tries to be my friend and suck up. What is wrong with my father? I feel like he has completely forgotten my mother. This is ruining our relationship.
Q: My 10-year-old daughter has taken gymnastics for awhile and is very good. Lately she doesn't want to go. We have huge fights when it's gymnastics time, but after she gets there it's fine. If she stops, she'll regret it and blame me later for not making her stick with it. She tries lots of activities, gets bored and stops. Soon she'll be doing nothing. How can I get through to her?
Q: I'm a single mother (kids 8 and 11), work full time and never seem to get everything done. Last month, my sister left her husband and moved into my home with her daughter. Now things are totally out of control because my niece is disrespectful and a slob and my sister isn't dealing with her. My kids are starting to act similarly. When I tell them to do anything, they ignore me or say ''in a minute'' and never do it. I want to help my sister, but this is too much. Any suggestions?
Q: My problem is that I have feelings for my best friend's boyfriend. I think about him all the time. He has let me know he's interested in me, too.
Q: Every vacation, I visit my mother for several days and spend the rest with my partner. Mom's always trying to get me to stay longer and attend parties with her friends, which I do NOT enjoy. This year, when I told her no, she got very quiet. She always does this when I disappoint her. Now I feel guilty. Should I?
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