While I’m away, readers give the advice.
Since that time, the families support various charities through their yearly reunion auction: for wounded veterans, a Down syndrome network, and other wonderful causes. These families are not well-off, however, each year they donate upwards of $400. People would likely find support for their charities if, in other years, family members were able to select their own cause’s financial support. This can do a lot to bring families together in a mutual interest, create a positive environment of giving and provide the joy of simply having fun together.
I acted naturally when I saw both of them later, he acted naturally, and all went well.
They had a good, long and happy marriage and seven children. He was an excellent husband, and she loved him dearly.
He died, and, to this day, she never knew how boorish he acted toward me.
She and I are still close.
In short, in retrospect, my treating it lightly took him off the hook, and harmed no one.
It is understandable that it is difficult for someone shy to make small talk, but to refuse bridal or baby showers is to say she’s not interested in getting to know her husband’s relatives or enlarging her network of friends, who could be very helpful to new couples or parents. Even though I agree her husband should be supportive, perhaps she should be more supportive of his wanting more personal contact with friends and relatives.
If she is so averse to meeting new people or having casual conversations with anyone who is not already close to her, I also see a life of potential isolation for her child. Will she avoid the PTA because she doesn’t want to meet other moms? Will her child be kept out of Little League or soccer because Mom is uncomfortable around strangers and doesn’t want to talk to anyone on the bleachers?
Shyness can be overcome, or at least mitigated with help and support from her husband and perhaps some counseling. Young mom and her entire family will benefit if she works to be more open and accepting.
She Needs to Lighten Up