You are not wrong for wanting to be comfortable. But please remember that when you visit someone else’s home, that person’s wishes take precedence — even if it used to be your childhood home.
While you say you are comfortable in your own skin, it would be interesting to know what your physician thinks about your obesity. I suspect that your mother would be prouder of you if you were less complacent and more willing to do something about your weight problem.
If you truly want to forgive your husband for the physical and emotional abuse you suffered in the early years of your marriage, a place to start would be to talk with your spiritual adviser.
You didn’t mention whether your husband is trying to find another job, if there is a valid reason why he can’t work, or if he’s still unfaithful. If it’s the latter, then in my opinion, you “owe” him the same amount of financial support that he gave you and nothing more.