There are few things more unattractive than a person who is drunk. Your boyfriend may be right that you need some new friends, if yours can have a good time only if they use alcohol.
If I’m reading your letter correctly, it appears you may be their designated driver. My advice is to take yourself out of that equation, and if possible, socialize with them in situations that do not involve drinking. If that’s not possible, then for your own sake, start cultivating friends with wider interests.
No helicopter dad
Your letter touches upon a conversation I have had several times over the last few years, and it involves whether helicopter parents are giving their children an advantage, or preventing them from developing social skills and independence. If your kids are having problems in school and need extra parental guidance, then I’m all for it. But if they aren’t — and their teachers should be able to tell you that – then your wife isn’t doing this because of their need but her own.
Because you say you’re not sure your marriage will be intact by the time they graduate, I’m urging that you both have more marriage counseling NOW. I hate to see a 20-year marriage go down the drain, because that’s where it’s headed.