Dear Abby: I am a widow who has fallen in love with a wonderful man who is almost 30 years my junior. He proclaims his love for me every day, and I know it’s real. I have been warned by others to be aware of “devious males on the make for comfortably situated widows.” After discussing it with the man, I have determined this is not his motive.
Right now, we’re good friends who love each other’s company. If marriage is in the future for us, I’m afraid of the age factor. He is not. Could you comment and give me some guidance?
Everyone knows there are devious males — and females — out there, but not all men are predators. If your friend is financially independent, then it’s unlikely he’s looking for a sugar mama. While it is unusual, I know several couples in which the wife is considerably older than the husband, and they seem very happy together.
If and when you plan to marry, it makes sense to discuss this with your attorney and have a prenuptial agreement created. If your friend has no ulterior motives, he will understand it’s for the protection of both of you and sign it. You have only one life to live – so live it without worrying about what others may think.
Dear Abby: I just opened my social media account and saw a friend had posted her daughter’s report card — all A’s. She then went on to say how proud she was of her because she is also co-captain of her school’s volleyball team, and mentoring other students, etc. You get the picture.
My son is suffering from depression and social anxiety, and we are fighting to keep him from failing all his classes. He’s going to therapy and is on medication.
Abby, isn’t it in poor taste to publicly show your child’s report card? My son used to get straight A’s before his depression, and I would have never posted his grades. Now I am becoming resentful of friends whose kids are doing well. What advice can you give me besides not opening up my social media account again?
I hope you realize that what this friend is doing is the same as parents who plaster bumper stickers on their vehicles that read “MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT.” If this woman’s posts upset you because of the challenges your son is dealing with, customize your social media feed to omit posts from her. That way you won’t have to cut yourself off from social media entirely.
Dear Abby: Have you ever — out of the blue — thought of someone you hadn’t seen, heard from or thought of in a long time, and later discovered they died around that time? This has happened to me more times than I can count. No one I have spoken with — friends or family — has experienced this. Have you ever heard of this phenomenon, and is there a name for it?
I have never had that experience, but I have heard of the phenomenon. It’s called either ESP or coincidence, depending upon which psychic plane you dwell. However, I HAVE had friends “pop into my head” and thought I should give them a call, only to hear from them a few days later.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.