Dear Abby: I’m writing to warn as many other young women as I can about the dangers of unprotected sex. I thought I had met the man of my dreams. I knew from the beginning he had a girlfriend in his hometown, but he assured me he was breaking it off, so I didn’t think twice about starting a relationship.
Well, she moved here and found out about us. He swore to me that there was no one else besides her and me. We have now discovered a third girl — his roommate — with whom he was involved.
Abby, he used no protection with any of us. He swore to us all that he always used it and was regularly tested for STDs. Another lie.
Now his former girlfriend thinks she may have picked up an STD from him, and we all have to be tested to ensure we don’t have one.
I now know you can’t trust anything you’re being told unless there’s proof. Go with the guy to get tested and demand to be there for the results. If you suspect (or know) he’s seeing someone else, always use protection and insist he be tested regularly.
All three of us could have saved our hearts, our bodies and a lot of turmoil if we hadn’t been so trusting. This has left a lasting impression, and now we wonder whether we will be able to trust another man again.
Awaiting the Results
Your “boyfriend” was dishonest and irresponsible. You can’t be blamed for feeling bitter. Now might be a good time to re-evaluate whether premarital sex is worth the headache and the heartache.
That said, I can’t help but wonder how you intended to avoid infection if you and the man of your dreams were having unprotected sex.
Please take this sad experience as a wake-up call, and schedule an appointment with your doctor to discuss all of the consequences that may result from unprotected sex in the 21st century. There are many — and an inability to trust is among the least of them. If a man doesn’t protect his partner, then it’s up to her to protect herself — both from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted diseases, which are rampant.
Dear Abby: I recently bought a new cellphone and was assigned a number by the company that sold it to me. I have been receiving calls and messages for the person who had the number before it was given to me. While the number of the person calling or texting comes up, I do not know the numbers of all my friends and associates, so I have been accepting the calls or texts.
At first, I would let the caller or texter know that the person he/she was trying to reach no longer had this number. However, it takes up my expensive minutes to make those replies. Am I under any obligation to contact these folks, or can I just ignore their contacts?
No rule of etiquette “compels” you to respond to these callers and texters, so consider yourself off the hook.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.