Dear Abby: I am a 14-year-old girl, and my friend “Leah” is out of control. She has been going down the wrong path since sixth grade. She is what people call “emo.”
She has attempted to end her life more than once. She has sex with lots of boys older than her and has issues with drugs and cutting. She was abused until she was 5 and then adopted. She doesn’t seem to have any morals.
She says she wants to become a serial killer and a prostitute when she grows up. She also wants to have a baby in the near future. Leah has borderline personality disorder and probably some others. I have tried talking to her about what she’s doing to herself, but she sees nothing wrong with her destructive behavior.
I want Leah to get help before she winds up raped, in prison, or on death row, or becomes a teen mother on the streets. I don’t want her to become another number, another statistic. What should I do? Who do I call – the police, social services, a hotline?
Scared for Leah
Your friend appears to be a very troubled and angry girl. If she thinks that by becoming a prostitute or a killer she will be able to assert control in her life where she has none, she’s sadly mistaken.
You say she has borderline personality disorder. If that’s true, it must have been diagnosed by a licensed psychotherapist. Frankly, I don’t think this is anything you can – or should – handle on your own.
If your mother doesn’t know what’s going on, please tell her so she can alert Leah’s mother and Leah can return to her therapist. However, if that’s not possible, tell a counselor at school what you have told me so Leah can receive more treatment before she hurts herself or someone else.
Last week, he announced that he has invited his sister and her boyfriend to go along and stay with us in the apartment we rented. Not only was I shocked that he would invite them without checking with me first, I became upset when he said he wasn’t asking them to pitch in any money. Normally I’m not stingy when it comes to sharing, but I’m angry and I wonder if I’m overreacting.
His mother died last year, and his sister is the only family he has left, which he tends to remind me of to make me feel guilty. How should I react to this?
Tell your boyfriend that out of consideration for you, he should have cleared it with you before inviting anyone to come along. When he tries to make you feel guilty by reminding you that his sister is all the family he has left, patiently explain that you understand that, but this was supposed to be your first trip together — just the two of you — and this has taken the romance out of it.
Then make it clear that you do not intend to foot the bill for Sissy and her boyfriend because that isn’t fair to you. And if he doesn’t agree, cancel the trip because you wouldn’t enjoy it anyway.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.