Dear Abby: I’m 18 and smarter than many people realize. I carefully evaluate every situation to find the best solution, but I can’t find one for this problem. My boyfriend, who I’ve been with for two years, has recently started watching hermaphrodite porn on a website where there are naked pictures of local girls.
“Roy” has admitted he knows several of the girls on the site. When I told him it makes me feel insecure, he lied and said he hadn’t been on it. Even though I showed him the history, he still denied it.
I don’t know what to do. I feel uncomfortable with him now. I feel like I’m not satisfying him or that he wants someone else.
While Roy may have been embarrassed to have been caught, I am still troubled by the fact that he wasn’t honest with you. Whether you’re not satisfying him is beside the point.
That he lied to you in the face of evidence to the contrary should be a wake-up call. The question becomes — what ELSE has Roy been less than truthful about? Does he have a fetish? Is he bi-curious?
It would benefit you if you could have an honest conversation with him about it. I don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable right now. Rather than search for shortcomings within yourself, take a long, hard look at Roy. Do you need a boyfriend you can’t trust, particularly if you think he may have had sex with some of the individuals who appear on a porn site?
Dear Abby: My mother asked me on one hour’s notice to take her on an errand. Although I wasn’t planning on going out that day, I obliged. Because she’s elderly, I parked as close to the door of the business as I could. I honestly didn’t see any signs or any parking meters. When we came out, there was a $25 ticket on my vehicle. I was so upset Mom gave me a $20 bill to help.
She now says she did it because I made her feel guilty and, since it is my car and she’s my mother, I should pay for the whole thing and return her money! I wouldn’t have been there in the first place if I hadn’t been doing her a favor. I offered to pay $15 if she’d pay the rest. She refuses.
If I’m stuck with the whole thing I will resent it and won’t speak to her. After all, I am a mother, too, and if I caused something like this to happen to any of my children, I would without question pay for the whole ticket. Who is right?
It’s a shame your mother reneged on her offer, but she wasn’t the person who was driving that day. I sincerely hope you won’t let $20 cause a rift in your relationship because it would be childish.
In the future, look more carefully to see how the parking is posted — and now that you know your mother can manage, be less solicitous when you’re choosing a spot. (If she really isn’t able to walk far, then her doctor will give her a handicapped parking tag for you to hang on your rearview mirror when you’re driving her.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.