Keeping up with the monthly growth-spurts of five rambunctious kids is not for the faint of hearts. There is a barrage of laundry that must bravely be confronted daily. It’s no help that most of my kids are about the same size so unpaired socks reproduce like alley rats and occasionally, I’ve been known to wear my 9 year-old daughter’s Dora the Explorer panties -when I absentmindedly shove them into my dresser at some ungodly hour of the night.
During my adolescence, I worked in a few retail clothing stores. I’d spend my entire shift meandering between fetching clothes for demanding customers, sorting stuff, folding, hanging, and opening boxes of new apparel. If lucky, I’d get to work the cash register for a few hours to break the monotony.
Despite the appeal of this job in today’s wretched economy, my current employment status is much less glamorous than my days at The Gap and Victoria's Secret. Instead, I have become a full-time manager of my own high-traffic mega-sized Marshall’s Outlet -boasting of a household stocked with second-hand brand-name attire. I’ve been trained as a “Circulation Specialist”- supervising the arrival and departure of massive quantities of hand-me-down merchandise that cross my threshold.
Nonetheless, after each article of clothing is washed and dried, several pieces neglect to “make the cut” that permits them to move on towards classification and ultimately, storage. My critical eyes scan each piece for irregularities. For reasons explained below, those articles not destined for the closet, will be channelled into a patented system I’ve created to maintain a sense of order.
As a classic Aquarius, organization has never been my forte. However, when it comes to tackling the poundage of apparel lounging unabashedly all over my home, I am a consummate professional. In fact, I have an effective method for managing this perpetual circulation of clothing.
The procedure is simple and efficient:
1. Introduction of new garment into household wardrobe.
2. Item carefully inspected for damage.
*1.Garment passes Round One and goes directly to designated closet or drawer
*2.Garment found defective and goes into donation bag or trash bin
*3.Garment continues on path to Round Two
Note: When item moves to Round Two, it’s goal is eventually to be welcomed into someone’s existing wardrobe.
However, if the particular piece doesn’t fit that respective child yet, it’s categorized as follows:
*1. Donate or Disposal- If older sibling caused irreparable damage to clothing, it’s trashed instantly. Stylistically, if it is displeasing to the inheriting kin, it is donated.
*2. Stand by - It is placed in an official “Waiting Area” where it will reside and be tried on by the targeted child every other month.
*3. Storage – If EFD (Estimated Fitting Date) is greater than 9 months, it is stored in a bin in the garage.
As a wild-eyed teenager, did I ever envision that the running of my future household would mimic my summer retail gigs? No way. In fact, I am dumbfounded that I actually absorbed a modicum of knowledge through my trainings and hands-on experience.
For whatever reason, by force of nature, I have become an expert. This indisputable truth brings me profound satisfaction in knowing that should my writing career fail to skyrocket into full-blown stardom, I can confidently compete for a management position at any retail clothing outlet.
Am I alone on this one? Do you think I’m way off base here?
Do any of you mothers think that your “parenting-domestic-household management" experience are transferable to other spheres of life?
Or perhaps the inverse is true; did any of your summer jobs prepare you for parenting or running a household?