As many of you also have experienced, my family and I have undergone years of hardships. We’ve been through it all, a real-life soap opera: illness, suicide, armed robbery and financial devastation.
Trudging through it all had zapped every last ounce of energy from my bone-weary body. However, from years of immersion therapy, of hard-core exposure to tough times, a fierce will to survive was born.
And let me confess: it hasn’t been easy. In fact, it's downright sucked. Many, many times over the past six years, the only thing I could focus on was finding the strength to get out of bed each morning and fake a smile for my kids and husband’s sake.
Life has taught me this: sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. Life is never static and nobody escapes unscathed from the “human experience.”
Note: The grass is NEVER greener.
So now it seems that the turbulent waters of life are tossing us back up to the surface. Because for the first time in years, we’re taking in a steady flow of air and not just simply treading water.
One week ago we purchased our very first home. Yes, after almost thirteen years of marriage, three countries and countless rentals---some homes and some apartments---this day has finally come.
I knew it would; just never knew when. And the not-knowing, the trying to lead a normal life whilst shrouded in uncertainty, the walking blindly through years of darkness and instability, has been the biggest challenge of all.
How did I maintain my sanity all these years? Faith and patience.
I never thought that this secular-minded, excessively-inquisitive and impetuous skeptic would admit to this, but it’s true. The only two traits, I believe, that buoy us through stretches of turmoil and insecurity are faith and patience.
Tough lessons to learn indeed.
Now make no mistake of it: the last six years have sucked the life out of me. They’ve left me weathered both physically and emotionally. They’ve shocked my hair grey and gave rise to grimace lines and bouts of anxiety.
However, I’ve lived through it and the prize, our new home, is that much sweeter because we had to wait so long and work so damn hard to attain it.
Which incidentally, another virtue that I'd failed to practice in the past emerged with a vengeance: gratitude.
Because yes, I am still exhausted. But this time, blissfully so and oh so thankful for this recent twist of fate.