Had a very real moment last night. This one I'll cherish forever.
I received a phone call from my best friend in Panama; it was the first time we had spoken since my biking accident on April 10th. Just hearing her voice cracking on the line, provoked an eruption of emotion---feelings I had buried deep inside and had forbidden to surface.
"Darah, I admire you so much. Look at all you've been through; you are one of the strongest people I know."
"This is all part of God's plan for you; have faith, He's testing you and strengthening you. You are a leader."
"Maybe this is all part of growing your "platform" as the inspirational Warrior Mom," she continued.
"I just don't believe God is paying attention anymore," I cried.
She pleaded with me to keep fighting through my struggles. And keep believing.
"Soon it will be over and you'll have tranquility and stability again. Be patient," she begged.
The time was 10:20PM and the house was quiet. But someone was listening, and very intently indeed. Despite her confession not to understand Spanish anymore, she seemed to capture the gist of the entire conversation.
And when my newly 10 year-old daughter emerged from her room, her eyes were wide with tears.
She overheard me wailing about our stressful life situation; one that extends far beyond my recent hospitalization and injury.
"Mommy, I didn't know you felt like that. You're so tired Mommy, and in spite of your pain, you love me so much to host my birthday sleepover tomorrow night," she stated insightfully.
Instantly, my little girl matured. She had inadvertently caught a glimpse into an adult world she never knew existed.
"I know you are doing the best you can, Mommy. And I appreciate you now more than ever. It doesn't matter about what you can't give me now. I don't need sleepaway or day camp, or expensive vacations; I just need you," she whimpered.
We hugged. She thanked me for fighting so hard to keep our family happy and united---despite my bout of exhaustion, the unbearable stress and physical pain.
She felt compassion for her mom.
"I admire you so much, Mommy."
Words I needed to hear.
For the first time, she saw me as an independent woman, a friend, and much more than just "her mother."
The moment was propitious to confide in her, in a loving way, just how hard many parents like us, work to make life enjoyable and less cumbersome for their children.
And overnight, our intimacy deepened and emotional bond strengthened.
A new child awoke in my home this morning---one full of gratitude and understanding.
Now that was a moment worth celebrating this Mother's Day.