Open a stage to any karaoke performer and the result can be humiliation, triumph or even love. While the latter sounds farfetched, karaoke stars admit to attracting the occasional karaoke ''groupie'' if their voices happen to touch any hearts or minds.

As South Floridians, we don't take our karaoke as seriously as residents of some Asian countries like China, where karaoke is a status symbol. ''Here it's more of a option for a party -- to get together, drink and have fun,'' says Miami Beach businessman and frequent traveler Art Massolo. ``Over there, it's more of a status thing. Everyone always goes to sing for whatever occasion, and it's usually on a daily basis.''

But karaoke still makes for lively entertainment in South Florida. The problem with lively is that it's not always tantamount to quality. Our visit to eight local bars helped identify the broad classifications of tropical karaoke participants: The serious performers who are out to prove why record labels should call them back; the inebriated, mumbling rock star who throws in foul language that appears nowhere in the lyrics; and the hordes of bachelorette party girls who invade the stage with vigorous dancing and Mick Jagger-like swagger.

While there are plenty of talented exceptions, listening to many entertainers comes in a close second to hearing two rabid feral cats fighting it out in a back alley. In case you want to show your stuff to a jovial audience far less critical than British soul crusher Simon Cowell, here's where to rock out:

SEVEN SEAS

Before reaching the front door, a ferocious dog growls from a vacant scrap of the building that was once a seafood restaurant. Once inside the rugged bar, expect to find every kind of creature: bearded whiskey-guzzlers, graduate school hipsters and aggressive women with raspy voices. With his impressive snow white beard and worn eyes, owner Pancho Pepe Rodriguez, 62, looks like a character Ernest Hemingway might have written about in Old Man and the Sea.

''Sometimes, it looks like a movie in here,'' Rodriguez says with a Cuban accent and gravitas. He gestures to the crowd of drunken buffoons, ``And they all look like actors.''

Seven Seas feels like a Keys transplant. Mounted fish and buoys decorate the cluttered walls, along with photos of legendary Key West haunts like Sloppy Joe's Bar and Captain Tony's Saloon. An old school jukebox in the corner plays CDs of artists like the Doors and Fleetwood Mac. There's no elevated stage, only a small area for the talent.

DJ Anthony ''Nacho'' Aldana works for Karaoke Miami, a company that also provides MCs at spots like Out of the Blue Café, Tom's NFL Sports Bar and Grill and Score Night Club on South Beach. Aldana sings Pearl Jam songs that make you think Eddie Vedder himself is on the mike. He says he has occasional issues with singers reluctant to give up the spotlight. ''The more they drink, the more they sing,'' Aldana says. The bar is crowded and the crowd is rowdy, probably because of bartender Vanessa Bueno's skills. She pours a tasty and deadly Jackmopolitan: Jack Daniel's, Triple sec, cranberry and lime juice.

A tipsy woman belts the Eagles' Hotel California to cringing faces. When asked about her love for the Eagles, she all but runs away for fear of her name appearing in print. Turns out, her husband works the night shift (when she is supposed to be home). For her, karaoke is a scandalous affair. On the flip side, it's a family affair for the Pozzesseres. Bestselling author Heather Graham Pozzessere hits karaoke nights at the Seven Seas and the Titanic Brewery near the University of Miami with her family.

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