AFTER DARK

Feeling crabby? Rustic Inn's got the cure

After being sandwiched for three hours on a plane between a snotty 11-year-old girl and a middle-aged man who smelled like soup, I needed a cocktail. So when my flight landed in Fort Lauderdale, I hightailed out of the long-term parking lot and was sitting at the Rustic Inn's bar within five minutes.

VELVET UNDERGROUND

Taking a lesson in the fine art of club life

Bar hopping isn't always a bleary-eyed pastime, especially when there's an ample supply of eye candy of the artistic sort we saw at the recent Heineken Art Crawl throughout the Brickell area. But even when there's no art on display, places like Segafredo, Novecento, Piola, Dolores Lolita and Badrutt's Place often give barflies something to look at besides the bottom of their empty glasses. Providing ample distractions of its own in that neighborhood is the newly opened Brickell Irish Pub, where live bands, poker tournaments and karaoke nights are among the planned nightly activities besides the usual Guinness guzzling.

Mixologists offer tips on getting good service -- and free drinks

Sacrifice is necessary in the midst of economic tumult but for some, giving up booze is crossing the line. Drowning one's sorrow sounds more appealing the more one drowns in debt, but that appeal can sour once a work-weary patron gets the check. Some local bartenders helped us shine a light on the secret to drinking right despite a tight budget.

VELVET UNDERGROUND

It's all in good taste -- (maybe not all)

We spend so much time trying to get fit for bikini season, and yet some of the best events of the summer aren't the hotel pool parties but the delicious deals at area restaurants.

AFTER DARK

Put your game face on and kick off the weekend

I'm not on NASA's payroll, but you can trust me when I tell you the Earth is revolving around the sun faster than it used to. I was having dinner at the Red Zone Café & Sports Theatre last week and was shocked to see a preseason football game on TV. Didn't I just see the Super Bowl?

VELVET UNDERGROUND

Party down at these uncheesy celebrations

Whimsy seems to be a common theme lately, especially at parties and special events (see last week's column on Hotel Victor's Frost Bite Thursday and downtown's Fame Fridays). And don't mistake whimsy for cheesy. Just because someone adds a bit of kitsch to an event doesn't mean it's entirely made of Velveeta.

AFTER DARK

Jai-alai's just one of the games in Dania

Thanks to a gentleman named Ralph, who gave me the tip (and who made sure to tell me he's from Brooklyn), I won the first bet I ever placed on a simulcast horse race. I was sitting next to him at the Sports Bar on the second floor of Dania Jai-Alai at 301 E. Dania Beach Blvd. in, believe it or not, Dania Beach.

AFTER DARK

The Trove's a Lauderdale beachside treasure

For those of you who require a respite from the excessive drinking and loud music typically associated with a night out in South Florida, I occasionally write a review about an artsy java joint, arcade, bowling alley, miniature golf course, go-kart facility or pottery studio.

VELVET UNDERGROUND

Get up and crawl for the cause

Deep into the summer, things have come to somewhat of a turtle-like crawl, but in the case of Summer Fest '09, that's a good thing because that crawl is between bars. Kicking off Friday and going through the weekend, the Equality Florida Bar Crawl joins with the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to present a musical chairs of sorts for adults, with some of South Beach's best -- and only -- gay bars hosting various events. That's Score, Palace, Halo, Twist, as well as equal opportunity spots like Hotel Victor and the Tides Hotel. The weekend's festivities will be emceed by drag stars Geraldine and Fernan-D-Cute. A slew of events is planned -- Friday's Fashionista Fest at The Tides (8-11 p.m.) and Meltdown, the official Summerfest Women's Event at the Catalina Hotel's Maxine Bistro and Bar and Bamboo Pool Deck featuring DJ Nancy Starr (10 p.m. to 5 a.m.), Saturday's Sunburst Brunch at the Palace (11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) and Summer Storm at Score (10 p.m. to 5 a.m.), and Sunday's T-Dance and Pool Party at the Victor (1-6 p.m.), and Bar Crawl from 8 p.m. until 2 a.m. Many of the venues offer up to three free Belvedere cocktails or Bud Lights. For specific information on events, venues and ticket prices (at the time of this writing tickets for the entire weekend were $50 in advance with 100 percent of proceeds going to the task force and Equality Florida) call 305-509-2700 or e-mail info@thepinkdollar.com. Not included in the price -- a cab, if need be.

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Jazid celebrates sweet 13 with all-star lineup

The beach may be a far cry from the hills of Austria, but at least this weekend, it's alive with the sound of music. Jazid's Bar Mitzvah celebration -- a 13-year milestone -- kicks off Friday and continues through the weekend with a slew of bands including Locos Por Juana and Bachaco at 8 p.m. and DJ Le Spam and the Spam Allstars, Suenalo Sound System, Local 34, The Deco Band, Fabian Hernandez, Natalie Bretoneche, Jacob Jeffries and the Max Ferber Trio beginning at 6 p.m. Saturday. Saturday's party...

VELVET UNDERGROUND

For summer crowd, good deals abound

All these plays on the word vacation are making us nuts -- playcation, staycation. If you ask us, it's all affectation, but that said, whatever you choose to call it, sleepover deals in your own ZIP Code are aplenty this summer -- and not just at your corner Motel 6.

MUSIC

POPLIFE celebrates a decade of indie-rock, alternative culture

Ask party people around the world about Miami nightlife and they'll rave about megaclubs such as Mansion and Space and the superstar DJs who jet in to rock the crowds with their pulsing house beats.

AFTER DARK

If you want to impress, land at the Pelican

If you're thinking about taking the plunge into Internet dating, I'm going to share a secret: Just about everyone online is lying. Lying about their height, weight, income, marital status, intentions, interests, drinking frequency, smoking status, child status and if they have hair under that baseball hat or not. I once met a young lady who said in her profile that she was a dead ringer for Marilyn Monroe. Upon meeting, I learned her words ''dead ringer'' must have referred to what the blonde bombshell...

Get a taste of Club Med at Miami Beach

Unable to get to the Mediterranean this summer because your yacht's in the shop or because of a little problem called being broke? Don't worry, the Med is coming to you vis a vis the Mediterranean Experience Wine Challenge on Saturday at the Miami Beach Convention Center. At the event, a panel of winos -- er, judges -- taste and rate all sorts of wines to choose the Best in Show. The panel includes Hell's Kitchen season five contestant Seth Levine, among other expert swishers. Although you don't...

Sing your heart out at South Florida's hottest karaoke clubs

Open a stage to any karaoke performer and the result can be humiliation, triumph or even love. While the latter sounds farfetched, karaoke stars admit to attracting the occasional karaoke ''groupie'' if their voices happen to touch any hearts or minds.

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Get the party started for 3-day weekend

In a city where almost every weekend is memorable and partying is par for the course, we almost forgot that Memorial Day weekend starts, well, now. And for those who forgot to make plans, fret not, as there's plenty to do. Consider, for example, the Downtown Pop Festival at Tobacco Road at 7 p.m. Friday, featuring three stages and 17 bands running the gamut from rock and funk to folk and punk. Music is set to last til 2:30 a.m., and drinks are 96 cents apiece. Doors open at 6; get there before 9...

AFTER DARK

Score a seat at the bar at Lauderdale's Red Zone

Who will make it to the NBA Finals? In the West, will it be Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers or that other team? And in the East will it be LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers or that other team? Whether you're a completely casual fan like me or a hard-core hoops fanatic and actually know the names of the other two playoff teams (Denver Nuggets and Orlando Magic -- I just looked it up online), you'll fit in at The Red Zone Café & Sports Theatre, at 1804 Cordova Rd. in Fort...

GOING RETRO

Catch a mermaid at Wreck Bar

As the happy hour crowd at Fort Lauderdale's legendary Wreck Bar heats up on Friday afternoons, patrons at this vintage venue focus their attention on windows that look into the adjoining pool. In the water, smiling glamour gals do somersaults. They wave. They blow kisses. With their long flowing hair and fluttering fishtails, they glide gracefully into the limelight.

AFTER DARK

Lauderdale's W Hotel ultra hip, but welcoming

I thought about starting this column borrowing an idea from Sesame Street: 'This column has been brought to you by the letter 'W'. '' But that was before I visited the W Hotel, which opened just two weeks ago on Fort Lauderdale beach (401 N. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd). The W is far too stunning for a Snuffleupagus or Oscar reference.

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

Where are you going to be when the ball drops? From where the celebs are celebrating to countdown-perfect cocktails to New Year's Eve memories from local personalities, we've got everything you'll need to plan your celebration. Welcome to Miami.com's NYE '09 guide. Read on and ring it in right.