As summer slowly -- and we mean slowly -- creeps its way upon us, ambitious and eager locals do all they can to keep us entertained, if but for a night, or in the case of the first SoBe Fest, an entire weekend. From Friday through Sunday, Miami Beach will host the only gay weekend of the summer, with eight events being held at seven of the city's most colorful venues -- the Catalina, Score, Halo, Gem, Palace Bar, Dek23 and Twist. Each venue will have live DJ and performances by local, national and international artists. Best of all, four venues will offer free Absolut cocktails as well as a potpourri of performance artists, drag divas and local luminaries.

Tickets for the entire weekend are $75 in advance with 100 percent of the proceeds benefiting the South Beach AIDS Project. Call 305-535-4733 or e-mail SoBeFest@sobeaids.org. Among the highlights: A soiree at the Catalina rooftop from 8 p.m.-midnight Saturday; a drag brunch at Gem from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Sunday; and the Ocean Front Pride T-Dance from 4-9 p.m. Sunday at the Palace Bar. Just like the old days.

Also evoking some excellent nostalgia (even if it does happen every year) is Gerry Kelly's splashy, flashy birthday celebration at The Fifth at 11 p.m. Saturday featuring pretty much everything but flame-throwers as far as we know.

More flash takes place at the typically low-key Original Penguin store at 925 Lincoln Rd. on Thursday when 944 Magazine hosts an evening of cocktails, music and, according to publisher Alan Roth, a surprise performance by an international musical artist who will do a rare acoustic set. We tried to pry a name out of Roth, who told us that if he told us he'd have to kill us before the mystery artist had a chance to kill him. Ah, the suspense. In the meantime we can tell you that the event will feature someone on bongos, light appetizers and what has become the most ubiquitous event sponsor of the summer, Vitamin Energy and Smart Water. Party starts at 8 p.m.

Hungry for more than flavored water? Consider The Oceanaire Seafood Room's Domaine Laroche Chablis Wine Pairing and Dinner Series at 7 p.m. Tuesday when, for $99.99 per person plus tax and tip, you get a serious five-course dinner paired with some serious wines. For reservations call 305-372-8862. And even if you don't feel like doing an entire dinner, we highly recommend the bar at Oceanaire for cocktails and raw bar, not to mention for the excellent and entertaining bar staff.

For those of you who yearn for the good ol' days of summer camp and arts and crafts, consider Buck 15's Arts & Crafts Summer Series, which kicked off last week and continues through the summer with various themes such as sneakers (June), T-shirts (July,) and skateboards (August). Aspiring artists are given one of the aforementioned objects and are supposed to create a masterpiece that will then be displayed and judged for various prizes. If we took a sneaker, we'd add wheels and sparkly things to them and wear them at Xanadu Nights, The North Beach Bandshell Trust and Super Wheels Skating Center's al fresco homage to this columnist's favorite movie, tonight and every other Friday night through Aug. 22 from 7-9 p.m., featuring DJ, food and free skating for all. Fancy moves not included. Call 305-219-3408.

Fancy in its own right is Cozy, the soon-to-open boite in the South of Fifth space formerly known as The Mark. Owned in part by Robert Pascal of La Piaggia fame, Cozy seems to have transformed the formerly cramped space, making it intimate without being claustrophobic. Every time we walk by, we hear a cool South of France soundtrack emanating from inside. Once it finally does open -- and that could be any day or month now, we are sure it's going to prove to be the antithesis of its name and a total see-and-be-seen spot for the so-called chic elite.

And finally, just like the good ol' days, the Miami Beach fire marshals shut down last weekend's opening of Aero Bar, which drew a dizzying mob scene that made Heathrow's plagued Terminal 5 seem like a walk in the park. According to publicist Liza Santana, Aero Bar will open this weekend no matter what. Even though -- or maybe because -- it's a slow summer, we recommend you get there two hours early to check in.

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