All these plays on the word vacation are making us nuts -- playcation, staycation. If you ask us, it's all affectation, but that said, whatever you choose to call it, sleepover deals in your own ZIP Code are aplenty this summer -- and not just at your corner Motel 6.

Take the Mondrian, for instance. The Miami Beach hotspot is offering a Locals' Escape, with rates starting at $345 plus tax per night. Book a stay from now through New Year's Eve and get a bottle of bubbly upon arrival, a poolside cabana for each day of the stay, a room upgrade and a 25 percent discount on spa treatments. Of course, the deal is based on availability and has blackout dates, so inquire with code PKMOFN when you go to morganshotelgroup.com or call 800-697-1791.

After a weekend of ogling and boozing at the Mondrian, consider Level 25 at The Conrad Miami in Brickell . The lounge's new Skinny Thursdays happy hour features low-calorie cocktail specials (try the Skinny Margarita), mixology demos and a beach-ready menu of small, low-cal plates from 5-8 p.m. weekly. If you're throwing all calorie considerations to the wind, try Level 25's Mojito Mondays instead, and get $6 variations of the muddled fave. Ecomaniacs can attend Go Green Tuesdays for a menu of slow-cooked or raw foods and organic wines and spirits. Rounding out the week: Wine Down Wednesdays, which offers half-price wines and champagnes, and Elevated Fridays, which features the same, plus half-off on cocktails, too.

More good deals on wine can be found at Flight Night Fridays at the new and buzzy Bar Rosso (19004 NE 29th Ave., Aventura). Select from a variety of wine flights (four glasses of three-ounce pours ranging from $9-$18) from various regions in Italy, and get complimentary appetizers paired with the wines by chef Joshua Medina. In addition to more than 100 varieties of wines, the place also has a mozzarella bar. Yum.

The Palms Hotel & Spa's new Essensia Lounge is hosting Sip and Spa Thursdays from 6-9 p.m., with $15, 15-minute mini spa services -- hand massages, neck and shoulder massages and chakra-balancing aromatherapy alongside free Veev spa cocktails, half-price lounge foods and half-price Bonterra organic wines. Spinning upbeat world music, DJ Billy Paul will prove that spas don't all subscribe to the John Tesh school of new age sounds. Guests who book a full spa service during the happy hour will receive a 50 percent discount.

Playing soon on the nocturnal scene is Trash, a multimedia space brought to us by nightlife veteran Michael Tronn, along with bold-faced club types including former Cameo and Club Space cadet Emi Guerra. According to Tronn, Trash, located at an not-yet-disclosed space in downtown Miami, will be ''a very theatrical, out-of-body experience where Mad Max meets Moulin Rouge, featuring live performances every night ranging from surreal to sexy.'' How very Vegas! True to its name, Trash's decor has been described as ''luxury junk yard,'' an oxymoron if ever we heard one, with scaffolding, iron sculptures, vinyl curtains, metal walls and nail-bed bar tops encased in plexiglass. Before the entire place is, uh, trashed, a casting call is planned from 2-8 p.m. June 13 for a Friday night freakshow called Fame. Who they want: barbacks, hosts, door staff, acrobats, contortionists, ''boys who kiss girls, girls who kiss girls and boys who kiss boys while also kissing girls,'' and some Elvis impersonators and bearded ladies, too. Stay tuned for more details on this kitschy cabaret.

Beef eaters unite: 8 Oz. Burger Bar, which set up shop on Alton Road in Miami Beach early this year, has opened another outpost adjacent to its sister restaurant Table 8 at the Z Ocean Hotel on Ocean Drive. Through the month of June, ask for a free Shock Top Belgian White draft beer with every burger you order.

Finally, you have to laugh at the reason why L.A.-import Apple Restaurant and Lounge once more has delayed its opening in the old Snatch space: Like the old Milli Vanilli song, they blamed it on the rain. That's a new one! The place should have been open by now, but if you go by the Doppler, it may be on a continuing delaycation.

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