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We're digging Miami's hidden treasures

When it comes to watering holes in Miami, few can be considered underground. Before we figured out that it was behind a furniture store directly across from Midtown Miami, we'd have filed Bardot under that category. Same goes for Lou's Beer Garden, where a roadside neon sign beckons from Harding Avenue amid low rises and motels. Drive too fast, and you may miss the place. But if you like the idea of off-the-beaten-path beer and wine with a sleek poolside setting in a neighborhood not usually known for things sleek, slow down and stop at all-green The New Hotel at 7337 Harding Ave.

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The mall's gonna be spinnin' tonight

See a tabloid name in person at the Dolphin Mall Friday when DJ Samantha Ronson -- whose name has been more affiliated with Lindsay Lohan than with her turntable mastery -- spins. She's part of the G by Guess Ultimate Remix DJ tour, which comes to our neck of the woods -- specifically the Ramblas Plaza -- from 8:30-11:30 p.m. The location is a far cry from LIV or Cameo, but how refreshing to be able to check out such a talent at the wholesome West Miami outlet mall. Local DJ Troy Kurtz kicks off the party, and free Rockstar beverages will be on tap. Because it's a family friendly event, there is no booze so you'll really be able to tell if Ronson is talented or the Grey Goose has been misleading you all these years. No cover charge, but it is advised you arrive early or else you may have to battle Lohan for a spot. Just kidding.

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Can't sleep? Let's pull an all-nighter on the beach

Sleepless nights don't always have to be an unwelcome side effect of anxiety. On Saturday, you can put the z's aside in favor of Sleepless Night. Starting at 6 p.m. you can stimulate your senses with an assortment of arts and entertainment diversions from Ocean Drive to Normandy Fountain until 7 a.m. Sunday. The event will feature everything from virtual reality live animation performances and flash mob dances to pajama runs and -- in the wake of that whole balloon boy fiasco -- a show by helium balloon acrobats. There's also a pre-dawn showing of classic cartoons and live music as well as a yoga class for those who insist on doing the downward dog before trying the hair of the dog. The Catalina Hotel and Beach Club will offer options for sleep as well as an assortment of pop art installations and unplugged live music all night long. Best of all, the entire all nighter is free. For a schedule, locations and more, go to www.sleeplessnight.org.

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Halloween in clubland's a real treat

This weekend almost every haunt in town -- with the exception of your corner gas station -- is throwing an All Hallow's Eve event.

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Get a jump on Halloween at Vizcaya's bash

Halloween's not until next Saturday, but that doesn't mean you have wait to sport that spiffy new Kate Gosselin wig. Wear it to Vizcaya's 23rd annual Halloween Sundowner, which takes place 8 p.m.-midnight this Saturday. The $125 ticket includes open super-premium bar, music from dual DJs, two dance floors, Halloween costume contest and food court. One hundred percent of proceeds benefit Vizcayans Young Professionals, which engages in protecting and preserving the estate. And while Jon & Kate costumes may not be the most novel thing about the party, what's completely new is the fact that this year's bash is going green (and not in the way that you would if you ate too much candy or dressed up like the Wicked Witch of the West). According to event chair Karl Klein, ``By incorporating environmentally friendly practices into the fundraiser, the Vizcayans Young Professionals further align with Vizcaya's mission of conservancy.'' 305-856-4866 or www.vizcayahalloween.com.

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Whatever your game, we've got the place

The Miami Dolphins aren't the only game in town if you crave a little glitz with your gridiron. Take the new Monday Night Football party at Gulfstream Park Racing & Casino. It runs every week no matter who's winning or losing and features more than 30 flat screen TVs, guest DJs, a tailgate food menu, ''tight end drink specials'' that we hope are more tight wad than tight end, free admission and parking and a colorful crowd of fans.

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Beach braces for two fashion weeks at same time

We still find it somewhat ironic that a city in which the concept of less is more is taken literally when it comes to dress codes, has countless ''fashion weeks.'' Now that Ocean Drive's is so last week, get ready for Funkshion: Fashion Week Miami Beach, a mouthful of a name for a series of runway shows showcasing the spring and summer 2010 collections of designers, including Richie Rich, Nicole Miller, Abi Ferri, Custo Barcelona. Celebrating its 13th season from Oct. 14-17, Funkshion will have runways at the Setai and the Bass Museum of Art, which will also double as a ''gifting and accessories showcase,'' which is a fancy way of saying, ''Freeloader Headquarters.'' The big highlight of this year's Funkshion is the 8 p.m. Wednesday opening at the Setai, featuring Rich's A*muse line presented by Pamela Anderson.

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New Urbanite masters the art of dining

Achange of scenery is always good, especially when that scenery involves rotating art exhibitions such as the one at the hip new eatery The Urbanite Bistro at 62 NE 14th St., where the concept of ``location, location, location'' takes on different meanings. We mean that in the best of ways. Located in the dodgy 'hood across the street from The Vagabond, The Urbanite not only features two bars and, based on our initial visit a few weeks ago, a cool, bluesy soundtrack, but also 25 domestic and European craft beers, more than 30 wines by the glass and creative cocktails. The food is fab, too. We loved the shrimp corn dogs and the Moroccan lamb sliders. Check it out Tuesday when the restaurant hosts a reception for the provocative artwork by artists Gabriela Sanchez-Vegas and Rudolf Kohn. Their Concrete Tears and City of Love, respectively, will show all month. Reception is 7-9 p.m. and comes complete with an Urbanite VIP card, which entitles each guest to a complimentary specialty cocktail.

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More and more hipsters bridging the gap

Some people may have noticed a distinct dearth of crowds at certain South Beach night spots lately, and we aren't sure the absence is entirely due to the recession. For the first time in many years, the beach is no longer the only game in town. Now we have the bustling Brickell area, where such places as Brickell Irish Pub and Club 50 are packing in barflies, hipsters and aspiring socialites. And The Little Engines That Could neighborhoods (the Design District and Wynwood) are slowly but surely proving to people that there is life after a meal at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink.

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Downtown Miami's just starting to simmer

While downtown Miami is hardly a bustling, thriving metropolis for social activity, some people are trying to change that. Human beings may not be moving into these condos cum ghost towns, but at least the bars and restaurants are.

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Countdown's on for Mexican Independence Day

September is usually just a transition from cruising through school zones to driving the speed limit. But that doesn't mean things have to slow down.

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Star chefs line up for Sunday's Sand Bake

Once we heard a radio station advertise a New Year's Eve party, the notion of Labor Day weekend being upon us didn't seem all that far-fetched. And saying sayonara to summer is hardly a teary farewell. Between the recession, oppressive heat and bad reality TV, we're ready to move on.

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Taking a lesson in the fine art of club life

Bar hopping isn't always a bleary-eyed pastime, especially when there's an ample supply of eye candy of the artistic sort we saw at the recent Heineken Art Crawl throughout the Brickell area. But even when there's no art on display, places like Segafredo, Novecento, Piola, Dolores Lolita and Badrutt's Place often give barflies something to look at besides the bottom of their empty glasses. Providing ample distractions of its own in that neighborhood is the newly opened Brickell Irish Pub, where live bands, poker tournaments and karaoke nights are among the planned nightly activities besides the usual Guinness guzzling.

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It's all in good taste -- (maybe not all)

We spend so much time trying to get fit for bikini season, and yet some of the best events of the summer aren't the hotel pool parties but the delicious deals at area restaurants.

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Party down at these uncheesy celebrations

Whimsy seems to be a common theme lately, especially at parties and special events (see last week's column on Hotel Victor's Frost Bite Thursday and downtown's Fame Fridays). And don't mistake whimsy for cheesy. Just because someone adds a bit of kitsch to an event doesn't mean it's entirely made of Velveeta.

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The Irish are coming, the Irish are coming

Could Miami be in the throes of an Irish invasion? With a slew of new pubs hitting the scene, we sense that it is. First, there's Brickell Irish Pub, 1471 S. Miami Ave., where, to no one's surprise, beer and billiards are the theme, though the bar advertises future special DJ and karaoke nights. Coming soon to the condo on Southwest First Court and Seventh Street: a second branch of South Beach's Waxy O'Connor's Irish Pub and Eatery, featuring a monstrous 7,000-square foot space with riverside dining, raw bar, boat slips and a live music stage that the press release describes as equal parts Irish pub and Key West cantina. An odd mix indeed. There will be 16 beers on tap, 20 bottles and a wide range of whiskeys and single malt Scotches. Best of all, weekdays will feature a $5 happy hour featuring premium stuff from 4-7 p.m.

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Get up and crawl for the cause

Deep into the summer, things have come to somewhat of a turtle-like crawl, but in the case of Summer Fest '09, that's a good thing because that crawl is between bars. Kicking off Friday and going through the weekend, the Equality Florida Bar Crawl joins with the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to present a musical chairs of sorts for adults, with some of South Beach's best -- and only -- gay bars hosting various events. That's Score, Palace, Halo, Twist, as well as equal opportunity spots like Hotel Victor and the Tides Hotel. The weekend's festivities will be emceed by drag stars Geraldine and Fernan-D-Cute. A slew of events is planned -- Friday's Fashionista Fest at The Tides (8-11 p.m.) and Meltdown, the official Summerfest Women's Event at the Catalina Hotel's Maxine Bistro and Bar and Bamboo Pool Deck featuring DJ Nancy Starr (10 p.m. to 5 a.m.), Saturday's Sunburst Brunch at the Palace (11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) and Summer Storm at Score (10 p.m. to 5 a.m.), and Sunday's T-Dance and Pool Party at the Victor (1-6 p.m.), and Bar Crawl from 8 p.m. until 2 a.m. Many of the venues offer up to three free Belvedere cocktails or Bud Lights. For specific information on events, venues and ticket prices (at the time of this writing tickets for the entire weekend were $50 in advance with 100 percent of proceeds going to the task force and Equality Florida) call 305-509-2700 or e-mail info@thepinkdollar.com. Not included in the price -- a cab, if need be.

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There's plenty to celebrate this week

August is just around the corner -- but time has been blazing at super sonic speed for those who have made a weekly ritual out of Jazid's last Thursday of the month Brazilian party with singer Rose Max. The party celebrates its 10-year anniversary on Thursday with a performance by Max at 11 p.m. No cover.

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Yelp's got real deals coming next week

Between Twitter, TMZ and Facebook, the Internet has never been more helpful in tipping us off to major news stories (and no, we're not counting the Kardashian sisters' inane musings that they're hot, tired or sick). And now, thanks to Yelp.com, the Internet is helping us save money, with Yelp Eats Restaurant Week, Monday through July 26. A slew of hot eateries -- 660, Alta Mar, Au Pied de Cochon, Cafe Sambal, Cafe Toscana, Escopazzo, Graziano's Brickell, Jaguar, La Cofradia, Pacific Time, Red Koi...

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Newcomers promise Wall-to-Wall excitement

Big openings are rare in the summer in Miami, so we welcome the spanking new W South Beach, 2201 Collins Ave., which opened quietly last weekend and is slated to do it again with a bang this weekend. But while foodies are rejoicing in the eventual arrival of Mr. Chow -- ironically positioned within blocks of its mortal enemy Philippe at the Gansevoort -- and spa junkies can't wait to linger in Bliss, to us Wall is creating the most buzz.

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Revolutionize your nightlife in Lauderdale

Looking for a little independence from the same old mundane nightlife? A little freedom from the Pavlovian ritual of going to the same places on the same nights, seeing the same people and having the same conversations? You're in luck. Invest in some gasoline and head up to Fort Lauderdale to check out the new W Hotel's Wet Pool Lounge and Whiskey Blue, the site of Salvation Sundays. Up on the fifth floor, where views of the ocean rival those of the scantily clad bathing beauties, the Wet pool deck...

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Lobsters are steaming on hot new patio

Despite its issues with the city, which isn't too thrilled about the new waterfront patio seating, Smith & Wollensky continues to be one of the best spots for supping, sipping and summering. The new Summer Lobster Specials (appropriate since many patrons arrive looking broiled) offer Maine lobster in all sorts of incarnations, including a 2.5 pounder for $39 and surf and turf starring a 10-oz. filet mignon and 1.25-pound Maine lobster for $59 through Labor Day.

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Jazid celebrates sweet 13 with all-star lineup

The beach may be a far cry from the hills of Austria, but at least this weekend, it's alive with the sound of music. Jazid's Bar Mitzvah celebration -- a 13-year milestone -- kicks off Friday and continues through the weekend with a slew of bands including Locos Por Juana and Bachaco at 8 p.m. and DJ Le Spam and the Spam Allstars, Suenalo Sound System, Local 34, The Deco Band, Fabian Hernandez, Natalie Bretoneche, Jacob Jeffries and the Max Ferber Trio beginning at 6 p.m. Saturday. Saturday's party...

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For summer crowd, good deals abound

All these plays on the word vacation are making us nuts -- playcation, staycation. If you ask us, it's all affectation, but that said, whatever you choose to call it, sleepover deals in your own ZIP Code are aplenty this summer -- and not just at your corner Motel 6.

Get a taste of Club Med at Miami Beach

Unable to get to the Mediterranean this summer because your yacht's in the shop or because of a little problem called being broke? Don't worry, the Med is coming to you vis a vis the Mediterranean Experience Wine Challenge on Saturday at the Miami Beach Convention Center. At the event, a panel of winos -- er, judges -- taste and rate all sorts of wines to choose the Best in Show. The panel includes Hell's Kitchen season five contestant Seth Levine, among other expert swishers. Although you don't...