The Dow dipped below 10,000 for the first time since 2004. Banks are failing. Oil prices are tanking. Gold and silver may prove to be lackluster solutions and the value of our dollar is despicable.

Is the big bailout going to help or hurt? The pundits don't have the answers.

In light of the recent financial crisis, I've decided to take my savings and invest for my retirement in a seemingly safer bet: Gambling.

The Seminole Coconut Creek Casino, at 5550 NW 40th St., isn't as palatial as the tribe's Hard Rock Casino, but it's far from shabby. The vast valet station at the entrance is lined with towering palms and is next to a little lake, stirred by a lighted fountain that erupts like an angry volcano.

The lobby is brightly lit and has 50-foot ceilings, Spanish tile floors and a hand painted, double helix-shaped structure suspended from the rafters. Many people, including me, gawked as if it were on display at the Museum of Natural History in New York City.

The patrons are perfectly friendly, many smoking cigarettes with a fervor of someone facing a firing squad.

As I was making my way into the casino, I heard a song I vaguely recalled from an old VH1 video. It was replaced by a breathy Taylor Dayne tune that segued into the oldie-but-not-so-goodie, Love Shack by The B-52s. The music here is stuck in the late '80s and early '90s and so are the furnishings. The carpets are clean and look virtually new but the multicolored patterns are enough to make me use a phrase from back in the day: gag me with a spoon.

But I wasn't here to be dazzled by the decor. I had my eye on the prize: The Black Gold Giveaway. In mid-November, there will be a drawing worth $200,000. I asked the guy behind the desk at the Players Club to explain the rules and he said, ``Well, it's sort of like the stock market. You get a certain amount of shares of the oil well and the price fluctuates.''

That's all I needed to hear. I didn't want to get involved with anything resembling the stock market so I put my money back into my pocket and headed to Nectar Lounge, the casino's bar.

Keeping with the overall appearance of the place, Nectar Lounge looks like it would have been hip at one point but now feels like a location for an old Miami Vice episode. You won't see Crockett and Tubbs nursing club sodas, but there are red and purple thin slices of plastic hang from the ceiling like oversized servings of Laughy Taffy.

The wall behind the bartenders is inlaid with stained glass and the DJ booth gives off a skating rink vibe. But Coconut Creek isn't exactly known for a big nightlife scene, so this bar is always packed with locals.

Nectar Lounge doesn't close until 6 a.m. nightly. There's live music 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Thursday through Saturday, with a DJ spinning until 5 a.m. On Sunday, there's music, and an older crowd, from 6 to 10 p.m.

The in-the-biz crowd enjoys half-price drinks all day on Monday. Women get the same deal on Wednesday's Ladies Night. Regular Joes, or Joe Sixpacks as some might say, can benefit from the discount during the daily 4-7 p.m. happy hour.

To help you conveniently save for your retirement, slot machines are embedded into the marble bar counter. But only half of the bar counter has slots because one side is literally in Seminole sovereign land and the other is located in Coconut Creek, where gambling is very much illegal.

Head outside to the Sunset Grill Bar, open 24/7, where wagering is allowed everywhere since the entire tremendous tiki bar calls the sovereign Seminole land its home.

Byron Welch, at the bar from midnight until 8 a.m., is an old-school bartender. He tells jokes you actually haven't heard 10,000 times, moderates political scuffles and offers solid advice on scores of subjects.

New members of the Players Club receive $20 of free play and a complimentary seafood buffet. Since I lost $20 within 20 seconds, my next plan is to open an account under my mattress.

LOOKING AHEAD

• The Alligator Alley Allstars with Albert Castiglia play Friday at Alligator Alley Native Florida Restaurant and Bar, 1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park. The show starts at 10 p.m. and there's a $5 cover.

• On Saturday, Everlast and The Lordz take the stage at Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale. Tickets are $18; doors open at 8 p.m.

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