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MARY KARR

Memoirist hit bottom, found faith

IF YOU GO

Who: Mary Karr

Where: Miami Book Fair International, Miami Dade College, 300 NE Second Ave., Miami.

When: 1:30 p.m. Saturday.

How much: $8 fair admission, $5 for seniors, 18 and under free.

More info: www.miamibookfair.com

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Special to The Miami Herald

Mary Karr begins her new memoir, Lit, with an open letter to her son. She remembers how he had to visit her in a mental hospital when he was 4.

``That's the story I wanted to tell: how I started getting drunk. How being drunk got increasingly hard, and being not drunk felt impossible,'' she writes. ``In Odyssean terms, I'd wanted to be a hero, but wound up -- as Mother did -- a monster.''

But if you ask Karr why she wrote this, her third volume of memoir, she does not say it's for her son, or in the hope of inspiring readers to sobriety or faith. Her answer is hair-raisingly honest: ``I did it for the money.''

Which is exactly what you'd expect from Karr, who appears at Miami Book Fair International on Saturday. Her unflinching candor and refusal to sugarcoat unpleasant, even horrifying events in her life helped make The Liars' Club and Cherry literary and popular favorites.

But Karr makes clear that while writing memoir is far more lucrative than her first and foremost literary calling -- poetry -- she's still not going to write something if it doesn't feel right. ``I do pray about what to write about,'' she said. ``I turned down a boatload of money for this book two years before I did write it.'' She also said she felt a ``personal necessity to write it for my son.'' But ``I didn't do it to help people, I promise. . . . If it didn't pay, I wouldn't do it. It's too hard.''

In Lit Karr tells the story of how she became a drunk and how she got sober, how she got divorced and found faith as a Roman Catholic and how she achieved professional stability and literary acclaim. It takes her through the success of The Liars' Club, a sort of full circle for readers who have followed her since that book's publication.

Writing Lit was different, she says.

``It's much clearer who the a - - - - - - is. It's a little more humiliating. Harder to tell the truth. I threw out two versions of it. The first time I think because I got the marriage wrong. The second time because I got the religious-spiritual-prayer stuff wrong. It would have been real boring. I just hate the idea of boring somebody.''

Karr acknowledges her conversion to Catholicism was a surprise to many, including herself. If you would have told her that would happen, ``I would have laughed myself cockeyed,'' she writes. ``More likely pastime? Pole dancer. International spy. Drug mule. Assassin.''

But convert she did, and she says she is not concerned about how others may respond, although in the book she recalls receiving ``a snippy postcard from a novelist I know who says: Not you on the pope's team. Say it ain't so.''

``I am the kind of person, like my mother, who gave up on having a good reputation a long time ago,'' Karr says.

``I spent so much of my childhood marginalized because of how my family is. You had to develop some tensile strength in your ego or just go mad and become a lifelong leper, become a permanent victim. You have to develop something inside you that knows when you're doing the right thing. For me that's what faith is.''

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