Dave Barrys Guide to Holiday Gifts
Its time for our annual list of strange and shocking items to purchase for your nearest and dearest this season
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Its time for our annual list of strange and shocking items to purchase for your nearest and dearest this season
In these troubled economic times, when money is scarce for many people, it's important that we remind ourselves, and our loved ones, that the holiday season is not about buying things. Then we and our loved ones can enjoy a hearty laugh, because, of COURSE the holiday season is about buying things.
$14.99 plus shipping and handling from Amazon.com, www.amazon.com Suggested by John DeGroff of Warsaw, Ind. Here's a situation you've probably found yourself in numerous times: You have killed an insect with a fly swatter, and you naturally wish to mark the occasion by triumphantly mocking the dead insect with a clever and cutting remark. If you're using an ordinary fly swatter, you have to make the remark yourself, manually. But not if you're using the talking fly swatter! This ingenious product...
89 plus shipping and handling from Barmans Ltd., Saxon Way Industrial Estate, Melbourn, Hertfordshire, SG8 6DN, UK, 0870-428-0958, www.drinkstuff.com
$29.99 plus shipping and handling from Overstock, www.overstock.com Suggested by Laura Seay of Austin, Texas This is the perfect gift to give when you want to send the heartfelt message: ``You pathetic loser.''
$69.99 plus shipping and handling from Mommysentials, LLC, P.O. Box 2507, Woodinville, Wash. 98072-2507, 877-878-2796, www.mommysentials.com
$49.95 plus shipping and handling from Matco, 866-999-4876, www.uroclub.org Suggested by Steve Wallace of Colorado Springs, Colo. Where do golfers go to the bathroom?
$49.95 plus shipping and handling from Edmund Scientific, 60 Pearce Ave., Tonawanda, N.Y. 14150, 800-728-6999; www.scientificsonline.com
$59.99 plus shipping and handling from Target, 800-591-3869, www.target.com Suggested by Annie Eitman of Moorpark, Calif. Meal time is usually very sad for dogs, because they are confined to the floor, like some kind of domestic animal or something, while the humans get to sit up at the table, where the food is.
$7.95 plus shipping and handling from Amazon.com, www.amazon.com Suggested by LaDawn Haws of Chico, Calif. Sometimes we look at a product, and we think: ''I would never have thought of that product in a million years without the aid of powerful narcotics.'' This is such a product. It's a mold, made of stainless steel, that enables you to fry an egg in the shape of a pistol!
$69.95 plus shipping and handling from Razorba/Swamiware LLC, Ann Arbor, Mich., 888-755-6386; www.razorba.com Suggested by Gail Orsillo of Lynnwood, Wash.
$26.22 plus shipping and handling from Amazon.com, www.amazon.com Suggested by Dorothy Stein of Miami Here's a fun game that will provide hours of entertainment for the whole family, provided that nobody in the family has an IQ higher than 40.
Free from FEMA Distribution Center, P.O. Box 2012, 8231 Stayton Dr., Jessup, Md. 20794-2012, 800-480-2520, www.fema.gov Suggested by Jon Harris
$89.95 plus shipping and handling from Design Toscano, 1400 Morse Ave., Elk Grove Village, Ill. 60007, 800-525-5141, www.designtoscano.com