BOB EIGHMIE/FOR THE MIAMI HERALD

DAVE BARRY'S ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE

What's behind Santa's Ho-Ho-Ho

Holiday gift-giving is a tradition that dates back roughly 2,006 years, to when the Three Wise Men went to Bethlehem with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the Baby Jesus. Of course the next day the Virgin Mary returned these items for store credit, because she was a low-income mother with a newborn, and as the old saying goes, ''You can't diaper a baby with frankincense.''

• Butthead Game
• Camo Cough Silencer
• Toilet Monster
• Disguised Nasal-Hair Trimming Finger
• The Birds-Away Attack Spider
• Marie Antoinette Action Figure
• Motorized Ice Cream Cone
• The Great Big World of Nematodes Coloring Book
• Electronic Message Brassiere
• Snow-Thrower Cab
• Earshadze