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My Law License

• Except He Wasn't A Lawyer, And You Said Nothing

  There will be no links to him here, the moronic, career-suicidal law student that in 2012 called himself a "lawyer" on his twitter bio. It's over, he's deleted his account. He's gone. He's let me know privately he now understands what he was doing, what he was possibly doing, and [...]
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• Because First You Have To Be Dead

  Long before I signed a lease for my office space, the cleaning crew in the building was there, and I trust they'll be there long after I leave. There's a few things they do that keep them coming back every day as the sun sets. One, they clean the place. [...]
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• Let the Legal Conferences Of The Stupids Begin

  Now that the holidays are over, it's time for failed and former lawyers turned tech hacks and social media experts to gather and give each other hugs and remind each other that lawyers who have offices and wear suits are part of the past.
  
  Of course I am here' [...]
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• I Stopped Taking Insulin One Week Ago (A Post For My Type II Diabetic Friends)

  You may have started out like me. Eight years ago next month it was a diagnosis with the number 330. Got some glucophage, changed my diet, and in a month it was 103. A few years later, a few different additional pills later, it was time for the needle. One [...]
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• The Short But Interesting Life Of The Article III Clerk

  A couple days ago I stumbled upon a twitter account "Article III Clerk." It purported to be a young federal judicial clerk to an older judge (Bio: "Current law clerk for a Senior U.S. District Judge on the East Coast. He’s really fucking old, so I roll the dice of" [...]
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• Marketing Yourself As The Lawyer (Coward) You Are

  Sometimes I wonder whether to write about the things that just make me embarrassed to be a lawyer. There are things so stunning, so pathetic, that I have trouble transferring thought to words.
  
  But this is something you need to know.
  
  While I have devoted much of the [...]
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• The Silver Bullet Of Legal Marketing, For Like When Tornadoes Kill People

  I have failed you all. I have spent my time here raging against the scumbag legal marketers who believe that the road to success as a lawyer is filling the internet with garbage - automatic twitter feeds, multiple accounts, ghostwritten blog posts about the latest car accident and who just [...]
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• They Couldn't Wait (An Angry Rant, With Profanity)

  As the 2011 holiday season grew closer, the social media and tech hacks got, as Elmer Fudd says, “bewy bewy qwyat.” Lawyers, real lawyers, turned their focus to family, travel, closing out their year, settling those last few cases, and the interest in buying into the salesmanship of former lawyers [...]
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• 2012: The Year Lawyers Become Great Through Lawyering, Not The Internet

  Analogize two new restaurants. One with a great website, pictures of the beautiful decor, private rooms and a great wine list, ability to make reservations online, and testimonials from customers like Julie R. and Bob W. It also has an active twitter account and Facebook fan page. "Like" them on [...]
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