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Riptide 2.0

• No, Charlie Crist Did Not Date Jill Kelley's Twin Sister

  The growing scandal involving the affairs of Gen. David Patraeus and Gen. John Allen looked for a minute like it was about to include, at least peripherally, former Gov. Charlie Crist as well. Ye...

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• Victoria Jackson Supports Secession, Isn't Sure President Obama Actually Won The Presidency, Almost Forged Her Absentee Ballot

  Victoria Jackson is continuing her post-election meltdown. After declaring "America died" on election night, Miami's own SNL start turned Tea Party queen, is now trafficking in conspiracy theorie...

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• "I'm Not A Quitter:" Revisiting Jeffrey Loria's Most Hilarious Lies About the "New" Marlins

  Jeffrey Loria is a liar. This is well documented. After years of claiming poverty while begging for ballpark handouts, leaked documents showed that, nope, the Marlins were actually one of basebal...

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• Key West Man Upset Over Presidential Election Kills Himself, Writes "F*#* Obama" On His Will

  A tanning salon owner in Key West who increasingly blamed his personal struggles on President Obama warned his partner that "I'm not going to be around long" if the president won reelection last ...

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• Election Turn-Out: Vote-Crazy Coral Gables, Motivated Miami Beach, Hopeless Homestead

  Ever since Election Day, the New Times office has descended into tribal taunts as each employee has tried to claim that his or her 'hood was the nail in Mitt Romney's coffin or the only thing kee...

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• The Miami Marlins Just Traded All Their Players: Reyes, Johnson, Buehrle, Buck and Bonafacio All Gone

  One year after the taxpayers of Miami-Dade gave Jeffrey Loria a brand new, $515 million ballpark, he's already given up even pretending to field a major league baseball team. In one of the large...

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• You Can Rent Ryan Tannehill for $5,000 an Hour

  Looks like Ryan Tannehill could use some extra cash. He's renting himself out for the low, low price of just $5,000-an-hour. Of course, all money exchanged between consenting adults is for time a...

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• 305 Photo of the Day: Parallel Planes

  Today's photo comes from Val-Playing catch up!'s Flickr. If you'd like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes. ...

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• Rick Sanchez Gets a New Job at MundoFox

  Two years after his fall from grace at CNN, Rick Sanchez has finally snagged a new regular TV job. He's headed to MundoFOX, Fox's newly created Spanish-language TV network aimed at Hispanics. Acc...

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• Did the Florida GOP Hold a Bahamas Fundraiser With Golf Carts Full of Hookers?

  Mitt Romney had binders full of women. The Florida GOP might have had golf carts full of hookers.Rumors of a strange "men's only" trip to the Bahamas, meant as a thank you to some of the Republic...

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