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Marlins Die-Hards

• That's Sr. Giancarlo #Monsterdong to You

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  Mike Stanton is now going by Giancarlo Stanton. Fine by us. Giancarlo is a much more melodic name to scream out in the throes of a masturbatory session home run blast. [...]
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• Enough With the Puns

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  At least SI didn't try to invent a hashtag on this cover...
  
  Cover via (duh)' [...]
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• Hanley's Impending Rebound

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  Today at the Herald, Clark Spencer makes a good point, followed by a nonsensical point. First:
  

  Ozzie Guillen has said repeatedly not to expect defensive wizardry from the former shortstop but never fails to add that Ramirez should at least be adequate. ... I think the bigger question [...]

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• Loria the Eternal Optimist

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  Jeffrey Loria gave his thoughts on the Miami Marlins as the team opened Spring Training, and guess what? He thinks they should make the playoffs. Just like he did last year.
  
  Last year Loria said the team could win 90 games. The Marlins ended up losing 90 games. [...]
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• A Note on Hanley in Spring Training

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  Everyone has been saying nice things about Hanley Ramirez this week. He told the assembled media at Marlins Spring Training that he's totally happy to play third base, and Ozzie Guillen said of his ornery star: "He seems like he's a happy man. I think playing" [...]
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• Children of the Marlins Diaspora: 16

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  Edgar Renteria, SS
  
  Played for Marlins: 1996-1998
  Other Teams: St. Louis, Boston, Atlanta, Detroit, San Francisco, Cincinnati
  Marlins fans know him because: Edgar signed with the Fish as a free agent when he was 16. In 1996 he made it to the show and had a solid [...]
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• Old Habits Die Hard

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  If you thought the Marlins free spending ways would mean their penny-pinching habits of the past would die out, think again.
  

  The club's handling of guys with less than three years of service time is perturbing both their players and the Major League Baseball Players’ Association alike, according' [...]

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• We are officially too interested in the discarded hair of Marlins stars

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  Josh Johnson has shorn his curly locks to comply with team policy, but unlike Jose Reyes' discarded dreadlocks, JJ's hair is not valuable enough to auction off on eBay. Instead, he has donated it to Locks of Love, a very worthy charity.
  
  Our alternative suggestion: Bake the' [...]
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• It begins

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  [...]
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• BREAKING: Third baseman takes grounders

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  Ah, Spring Training, when the mere fact that Hanley Ramirez is taking grounders at third qualifies as news...
  
  
  Video via [...]
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