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• Dan Marino Tells Dolphins Fans To Be Patient

  Appearing as a guest at the Dolphins' Touchdown Club luncheon today at Bokamper's Bar and Grill, Dan Marino told Dolphins fans to chill with all the anger over the fact that the team sucks balls. Th' [...]
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• 346-Pound Man Punched Domino's Pizza Guy For Forgetting His Garlic Knots

  Still waitin' on them garlic knots.Remember those Domino's Pizza ads in which they were all sorry about their shitty pizza and promised to make things better? Well, one Vero Beach man ain't buying it' [...]
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• Guy Gets Super High, Calls 911 Twice To Report His Dreams

  Mark Welch, from Volusia County, was reportedly tripping balls so hard from smoking synthetic weed on Sunday that he started to believe that whatever happened in his dreams was happening in real life. [...]
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• West Palm Activists: Suspect Voter Fraud? Shoot On Sight.

  Fed-up with rampant voter fraud and not gonna take it anymore? Tired of liberal activist judges playing footsie with the likes of ACORN and making a mockery of democracy? If so, here's a novel solutio' [...]
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• New Times Broward Palm Beach Staff Writer Chris Sweeney Honored

  New Times Broward-Palm Beach staff writer Chris Sweeney received an honorable mention last week in the National Press Foundation's Evert Clark/Seth Payne contest, which rewards science writing from yo [...]
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• Floridians Think Obama Is Better At Speeches Than Romney

  According to a new poll conducted by Public Policy Polling (the PPP, y'all) after the RNC last week, 58 percent of 1,548 likely Florida voters polled said that Barack Obama gives better talk than Repu' [...]
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• Boca Lawyer Doug Schapiro Has Sued Nearly 100 Local Businesses Over ADA Infractions

  "The urinal is too high," says Douglas Schapiro, a pudgy lawyer dressed casually in a red polo shirt. He's squished into the men's room of Mi Fondita Mexicana Y Café in Hollywood fiddling with a measu [...]
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• Allen West: Democrats "the most racist party I've ever seen in my life"

  The sun rises, the sun sets, and Allen West says some ridiculously hyperbolic shit. It's all part of the fabric of life, the universe, and everything. Speaking to a group of black Republicans last W' [...]
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• Florida Black Bears No Longer "Threatened;" Prospective Hunters Set Their Sights

  WikimediaHunters say if they're not allowed to shoot black bears, more will end up as roadkill like this one.Time was, Rusty McKeithan could load up a truck with four or five dogs, grab his rifle, and' [...]
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