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Dave Barry's Blog

• CONTRACTOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR

  18th-century French chateau bulldozed 'by mistake'

  We blame the low sperm count.

  (Thanks to Bill Jones, The Perts and DaninTustin)

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• ADVISORY TO BOSTON AREA MOTORISTS:

  Take bacon.

  (Thanks to Poker)

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• THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

  French men not producing as much sperm

  (Thanks to RussellMc, Bill Hudgins and Poker)

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• EDUCATIONAL

  A TV station has been flooded with complaints after broadcasting an interview with a headmistress - showing a giant cartoon penis drawn on the blackboard behind her.

  (Thanks to Joe in Japan)

   

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• BOND. JAMES BOND.

  Drunken man fell out of car with his pants down; claimed to be an assassin

  Guess the state.

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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• DEPARTMENT OF THE EASILY FASCINATED

  Honey Boo Boo makes Barbara Walters' list of Most Fascinating People of 2012

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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• SENIOR CITIZEN OF THE WEEK SO FAR

  Retired cowboy, 79, stops intruder high on bath salts using a quick karate chop-punch

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who advises you to stay off this person's lawn)

   

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• GOOD TO KNOW

  Though the nose doesn't grow when you lie, its temperature (along with that of the muscles in the inner eye) rises.

  (Thanks to Ralph)

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• WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME, II

  Of all the bits of information available online, the exact number of Lego pieces that could be stacked, one on top of the other, before the bottom piece was crushed under the weight of the tower itself has remained elusive -- Until now.

  (Thanks to The Perts)

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• WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

  Trotify Makes Your Bike Sound Like a Galloping Horse

  (Thanks to Omniskeptic)

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