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Dave Barry's Blog

• WE'RE GUESSING IT'S LAWSUIT TIME

  Woman Flips Over After Trying To Ride Motorized Scooter Up MBTA Escalator

  (Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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• WE FEEL SO MUCH SAFER

  Two Seattle men say they spent more than two hours in a detention center at the Canadian border after U.S. border agents discovered illegal chocolate eggs in their car.

  (Thanks to Jerald Nichols and Jan in Grimsby)

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• 'YOU LOOK LIKE YOU STOLE A MIDGET'S PANTS!'

  Dad yells at son for wearing skinny jeans.

  (Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

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• 'HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BUY LIGHT BEER, JUDGE.'

  A young Heidelberg Township man on Monday admitted knocking out a friend at a house party in January after the victim, who suffered a skull fracture and brain bleeding, arrived with the wrong kind of beer.

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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• SECOND OFFENSE: THE DEATH PENTALY

  A Denver woman said her homeowner's association is fining her $200 for having brown spots on her yard amid drought conditions.

  (Thanks to The Perts)

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• IF THE HOFF *IS* WITH YOU, WE RECOMMEND SHOTS

  David Hasselhoff turns 60: "May the Hoff be with you!"

  (Thanks to Janice Gelb)

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• TIME FOR MANDATORY FEDERAL REGISTRATION

  Sturbridge man accused of whacking adversary with weed trimmer

  (Thanks to Jerald Nichols)

  Idaho man charged with ashtray attack on motorist

  (Thanks to Craig Roberts)

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• COMING SOON TO THE OLYMPICS

  Drunk Germans Cheer for Woman Parking Car

  (Thanks to jon harris)

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• AND STAY OFF HIS LAWN

  Stop or the senior citizen will shoot! Moment 71-year-old gunman shot two robbers as they tried to hold up Florida internet cafe

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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